My Champagne Cup

I have been a camel in the desert since bringing home our new little guy from the hospital. Trying to balance life with a newborn and twins under the age of 2 has been quite the challenge. Now that we are 4 months in, we are getting the hang of things and starting to glide, but I can tell you for sure, my reservoir has been left
empty...

            lifeless...

                        depleted...

Motherhood is not to be taken lightly. It is an extreme dying of self. Sleep, privacy, sanity...it's all gone. Some days you lose yourself in the diapers, feedings, fussing, refereeing, etc. It's easy to forget there's a person under that mouth wiped on, snot and tears stained shirt. 

In some ways, I have lost sight of my true identity (or it could just be my DNA unraveling at the seams from so many sleepless nights. Ha!). It really took God softening my heart this past week for me to cave in. I have to be strong and sufficient for so many people (well, 3 little people and one big one). I rely on myself for everyone. There is no room for me to let my guard down to let Jesus in to take over when I'm falling to pieces.

I saw a vision of myself in the way God sees me, even as a Mother: I was His little toddler. I was still full of sweet and innocence, running and falling at the feet of my Father. It was like picturing myself in the form of my little Anna running into my arms. He put His arms around me as I buried my tears in His lap. 

I need him. I'm still His little girl. I'm not this strong tough Mom guiding my way through all on my own. I'm more to Him than that.

It didn't take long after that for the Lord to show me the error of my ways. Our teaching pastor at church has been the fire the last few weeks. I'm talking, pruning some major branches here (John 15:2). He gave the perfect illustration: If I picture myself as a pitcher of water and sitting out are all my cups, each cup resembling everything I pour myself into (marriage, children, work, small group, activities, service, household chores, God, etc.), then pouring myself into each one and leaving whatever small drops I have left for God is all wrong. Even if I am majorly pouring most of myself into the "God" cup and still pouring small drops into all my other cups...it's still all wrong. 

He went further to picture that we need to be like a champagne glass fountain, like the ones you see at wedding receptions. I need to be pouring all of myself into just one cup. The "God" cup, the one cup at the very top of the fountain that overflows and cascades down and out into all the other cups. Not only is it beautiful but it all works together in perfect alignment without any cups going dry. God will fill my cups overflowing in everything I do if I give myself and everything I have to Him. 

Beautiful. 

Life and motherhood simplified with just ONE glass- God.