Still Stepping Into the New

Some of you may know my story, some of you might just know bits and pieces of my story, and others may know none of it at all. I grew up in the church. Growing up I learned how to be a "good girl" and how to do all of the right things,  but I never learned how to have a real relationship with Jesus. I knew all the rights and wrongs. I knew the "Christian" stuff to do. I was always the "good girl." I even carried my Bible around in high school for everyone to see.  I thought I had to do those things in order to gain God's favor in some way or if I didn't do those things, I would be punished. 

I eventually stepped away altogether until about 4 years ago during one of my lowest points, I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit that changed me forever and I experienced His presence for the very first time. I had made a mess of my life and had made all the wrong decisions so much I couldn't recognize myself anymore. Ashley was gone. There is a lot that has happened since that amazing moment. Chains have been steadily falling off and I am constantly learning, growing, and moving forward. 

There are still things that I struggle with when it comes to doing things out of a religious heart. Reading my Bible is one of those "religious" struggles. I find that a lot of days, I do it because I'm supposed to. Some days I read through just to finish the day's allotted selected reading. Most days, I struggle with the desire to. There seems to be a loss of heart in the action.

For a while, my solution was to just not read it at all, but that was just as unsettling. I know I'm supposed to be diving in and staying grounded.

I also know I have accountability with my husband and sometimes with other friends. I also know it's still probably better for me to stay in the Word even though my motivations are askew. I believe God doesn't waste time even when I'm wrong. I prayed for a change of heart so many times. After all, I am hungry for it, so what's the problem?

A couple weeks ago, Kyle and I were on the way home from my Dad's house in Alabama. We were in the car listening to Bill Johnson from Bethel Church in Redding, California together. If you're up for the challenge of listening, you can find it here: The Art of Living Clean. It will fill you up, for sure! 

Bill spoke about how when he sits down to read the Word, he reads until the Lord speaks to his heart. He wasn't speaking of just a few verses, but portions of scripture. He said he does not want to go a day without hearing the Voice of the Lord. Whoa! 

He also spoke about how reading the Word filters through down in our lives and seems to re-calibrate all of our systems at one time. He used an example of dealing with resentment with another. When you read, the Word doesn't just speak to bitterness, it speaks to the issue of joy, love, patience, etc. The Word washes over and stirs up our hearts. 

There is something that happens when you get in the Word. God calls to us, woos us, and draws us in. And you allow Him to speak to your heart to draw you near. 

"The closer you draw to God, the less you can take with you." -Bill Johnson

How have my eyes not been opened before?! It seems so obvious! It changes everything.

Since this discovery, I have had more meaningful, intentional quiet times. I'm not just sitting down reading words on a page to get through what I'm "supposed" to be doing. I'm sitting down with the Almighty! I'm sitting down with His Living Words that are speaking into my life and heart. He has lots to share, more joy to fill me up, and ever so much more pruning. 

I have started to pick more intentional times during the day that allow me to be at rest, open, and allows more time for Him to speak. I want to be the most available to what He has in store. 

My quiet times are not so dreaded, not so rushed, my heart is open...waiting and anticipating what the Lord has to say! We have a living God who is speaking! I now have new ears to listen! :)  

Happy 1st Birthday, Anna & Esther!

This weekend was a special celebration in our new little family- 

Anna and Esther turned 1 years old!

This milestone was marked by a Giraffe themed 1st Birthday party celebration with friends and family and a day of playing in our living room filled full of all kinds of new toys. It was such a joy to share this special time with everyone and enjoy our two little blessings!

One year ago, we were two nervous newlyweds (our twins were honeymoon souvenirs) getting prepared to go into the operation room for a C-section. Looking back, we seemed like kids, scared, anxious, and with no ideas of what to expect and just scratching the surface of our relationship.

Now, we have two of the most beautiful good little babies we didn't even know to ask for (God definitely had immeasurable surprises in store for us). We have a year's experience of two different babies under our belt, feel a little older (I am sporting some gray hairs and Kyle losing more of his ::wink::), maybe a little wiser (maybe not), a little less selfish in some ways, and both filled with more joy and love to share together. It's so crazy to compare the then and now all within a year's time!

Party Photos Courtesy of Talei "Lei Lei" Akins Photography

Anna was our little ham during the party. She surprised us all by walking around and socializing with everyone and not being her shy little self that she usually is. She played with the other kids, let people interact with her, and pick her up. She totally took advantage of being one of the little stars of the party. She also took a few bites of cake, which surprised us more. She refuses, any other day and since the party, to take any food from our hand or off a plate. It must be pureed and sitting in her chair. Instead, she was licking every bit of icing off of her lips and coming back for a few more bites. So cute!

Our Little Ham, Anna!

Esther, on the other hand, wanted to observe everything and everyone within the arms of her Mommy. She was definitely taking everything in, but only in her safe space. She did venture out a couple times to play with the other kids and her new toys, but it didn't last for too long. She also refused to participate in the ritual cake eating and normally she eats off of my plate any chance she gets. We also realized she was teething, so she wasn't quite feeling herself either. My poor punkin'.

Essie staying close to Mommy

The girls were spoiled with lots of toys from everyone! We got to join in the fun of opening presents with them. It will probably be one of the last times too. 

And of course, there was cake!

Planning a giraffe party was a lot of fun and a little stressful since I more than procrastinated to the very last minute since I was in vacation mode from our Destin trip the week prior. There's not a lot of giraffe party themes out there, but thanks to Pinterest, I was able to create our own. 

Invitations set the tone:

Created by CutiesTieDyeBoutique

Think pink and giraffe....

The giraffe cake in the shape of a number one, I made with inspiration from Cake Believe. Giraffe cookies are Nutter Butters with Honey Nut Cherrios and Mini Reese's Pieces iced on. If you ever replicate, check to make sure the cookies in the pack aren't stale. I didn't find out till after the party, I had a bad pack. :( My Mother-in-law had previously made these cookies on tops of cupcakes at our babies' shower, which was a Noah's Ark theme, so the idea came from her. 

The most fun I had was putting together the party favors. We got some of our babies' favorite things at the dollar store...tiny board books, baby maracas (those are not actually Easter eggs in the basket), animal crackers, a pack of giraffe crayons, plastic balls, and I sewed together stuffed Giraffe taggies. I made my own sewing pattern from viewing another blogger's (Fig and Ruby) stuffed giraffes.

We made giraffe headbands to wear during the party, put together a photobooth, and made chalkboards so that guests could write messages to Anna and Esther kind of like a memory guestbook since I wasn't sure if our girls would cooperate for photos with everyone. However, no one used the photobooth, so I think it served more as decor for the party instead. 

Now that the party is over, I'm thinking of all things giraffe I could have added to the party. Kind of like realizing we had giraffe balloon animals and forgot to put them out for the kids! :(  Oh well... Our babies only turn 1 once!

Thank you to all our friends and family who have shared in this precious time with us! 

You are so special to us!

Happy 1st Birthday, Anna & Esther!

We love you dearly!

Break for Vacation

We just got back from a week of full Adams Family Vacation in Destin, Florida!

In all honesty, I can say that I was just not looking forward to the trip this year. I'm sure you are shaking your head at such a remark, but we recently took a trip up to Indiana a few weeks prior to visit family. It was the babies first time to meet everyone and they were quite the little hand fulls even with all of the extra help. I wasn't sure how I was going to last through another trip without needing a vacation all to myself when we got back. 

However, the week ended up being a complete success even with all of it's small hiccups! God had plenty in store for the week. He knows how much I long for the romance of His creation, so He knew this was prime time to get my attention plus lots of favoring. :) 

Mrs. Adams Sr. picked out an awesome condo along the beach! We had gorgeous weather! No rain!  We had tummy tickling family laughter around the dinner table while all of the kiddos were asleep in their beds! Yummy food! We had our own personal heated pool. My husband was so wonderful; he got up with Anna and Esther every morning of our vacation. Ahhhh.... true blessings, for sure!  

Kyle and I even got a night out together. We love our romance!

First day of vacation, we learned 2 things: the babies have a sand phobia that will not be tolerated and that I have developed a severe allergy to bee stings. As a child, I was stung by all types of bees...honey bees, wasps, yellow jackets, or as you call them here, the carpenter bee. Then, at the age of 27, a small sweat bee comes along, at least, that's what our hypothesis has concluded, and I was one close trip to the E.R. I have never seen anything happen to my body quite like this in a matter of minutes. Craziness!! So, it was 2 Benedryl tablets for me, a steak dinner in bed with my honey, and off to sleep land. 

The sting was a little bit of a blessing in disguise. Despite it's discomforts, I think, everyone else should have got to have their dinner in bed that night as well. It was actually quite fun! And I got to catch up on all the sleep I haven't had since the girls were born. :)

First Moments on the Beach...

Turned into Unhappy 1st Moments on the Beach. No sand for Babies!

God taught me what it was to rest again and He sure put it on the menu for me for the week. It was incredible. I have never felt so recharged being back at home today. 

During the week, the girls enjoyed playing with their cousins, took record long naps, and enjoyed the beach, but only by lounging in their chairs with no sand! They had one day of severe teething, in which I think we got a whole 20 minutes of actual beach time that day, but Anna has now caught up to Esther so that they both each now have their first tooth poking through the gums. 

Day 2...buckets and shovels with NO SAND.

We all took turns cooking each night so that the week wasn't crazy scheduled with outings, which was super helpful for us especially since the twins are in bed so early. I made my newest recipe addiction from Pinterest one night, Colorado Smothered Burritos with Avocado Salsa. Yummy! We ate lunch out at The Crab Trap one day and ended the week off eating at the Old Bay Steamer. Double Yum. Those, of course, are our traditional places to get our eat on each year. 

Day 4 was certainly my favorite. Kyle and I unexpectedly found that we had a night out to ourselves. Mimi and Papa took the girls out for their first dinner together without Mommy and Daddy while The Brummer clan was out on a dolphin boat extravaganza. We went to The Crab Trap again since Kyle wanted to splurge for another round of raw oysters. It was then followed by a late night walk on the beach, a late night swim, and well, more romance, romance....

What a week of sweet memories! Until next year..... :)