The Miley in Me

It's been a couple weeks now since Miley Cyrus' jaw dropping performance at the VMA's and she still remains to be one of the most talked about people. Tweeted, Facebooked, and blogged about, I, too, have found myself delving into the what seems to be a train wreck or one of the most brilliant publicity ploys ever. There has been a great deal of judgement, harsh opinions, and open letters over the singer's behavior, which is somewhat justifiably due to the numerous teen girls in the country that look to Miley as a role model. Strangely, I find myself identifying with the pop star.

This Hannah Montana "no more" is arriving at her early 20's. I don't know about you, but my early 20's didn't look much less appealing than any one of Miley's recent performances. Sure, I might not have been poised naked on a wrecking ball or twerking with Beetlejuice, but my life didn't look anything like what it does today.

I was a mess in my early adulthood era. It was plagued with all kinds of doubt to my identity, bad decision making, immaturity, irresponsibility, and an ugly and hurtful 6 year relationship I had no business being in. I was trying to find myself but instead lost myself. Friends and colleagues often wondered where my old self had vacated to, I was empty and searching for something to fill me. To this day, I still look back and wonder who in the world was that girl. She sure wasn't me. It's like looking at the Miley in me.

You see, Miley and I are one in the same. Her sins aren't any greater or worse than mine. She may be exemplifying all the wrong choices while trying to find her way, but like Miley, some of us can be a little more extreme that others when it comes to finding ourselves in our rebellion. But really, it makes no difference to Christ. It's all the same sin in His eyes and it doesn't make her have any less chance of being His daughter in the Kingdom. It's what He gave his life for.

Beauty for Ashes! It all becomes part of God's beautiful story to glorify Himself in the end. We are a beautiful story! And sometimes, a beautiful mess.          

The difference is surrendering and giving Christ the opportunity to take over our lives and heart and make a right relationship with Him. God took hold of me along with every one of my bad decisions and covered me with His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and overwhelming kindness. He guided and restored me back to a place of righteousness. Without Him, I would still be wandering.

Every single one of us is broken. Miley is no different. No different than me. I'm only separated from the Miley in me by my encounter with the Father and His continual love and forgiveness to wipe me clean.

Instead of judging a person full of sin, look at them as empty of Christ. How are we to love them towards the Father? 

One Month And Already a Lifetime

Our little Tyler had a One Month Birthday this week!

And was inaugurated into our Family Bible we received on our one year anniversary.

We chose Psalm 84:10 for Tyler's official marking since his name means "Doorkeeper" or "Tile Maker."
"For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in
the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness."

Time has started to pick up it's pace again in the Adams' household. It seemed to slow down just a tad in the toddler zone, but it's full speed ahead again all too quickly. A month of days has approached itself in a what feels like a week, but in a sense feels like Baby Boy has been with us forever. 

Newborn sizes have already been replaced with the next size up, intentional smiles have shown their first glances when playing with Mommy, and two big sisters have decided that it's okay to show their displays of affection for the little guy instead of baby phobia.

The girls didn't acknowledge his existence too much for the first couple of weeks. Now, the girls can't come downstairs in the mornings without looking for Brother. Esther has proven to be my 'little mommy.' If Tyler starts crying and I don't immediately tend to him, Esther will care for him and rub his head to calm him until Mommy arrives. She is a big helper. Sometimes too much....she now tries to pick him up.

Tyler is an entirely different recipe than the girls. The most noticeable being the crazy dinosaur noises coming from his corner of the room at night; Terra Dactyl to be exact. Haha! He doesn't mind getting a bath, loves his head rubbed, and eats like a horse. Thankfully, Anna and Esther paved the way in breastfeeding. He is eating their amount combined; 4-5oz every 2-3 hours or some nights every hour and a half. Shew!!

We have yet another good baby, but have found that he is a little particular how he likes his love and care. Dirty pants must be changed immediately, room temperature breastmilk must be warmed to his liking, arms must be out for swaddling, there must be extra cushioning in bed, and positioning is not always the same. 

Yet on the other hand, he can be very laid back. He is very patient until you take advantage of it and can easily sleep through Big Sisters' screaming and loud play (well, for the exception of pots and pans). Those two qualities are obviously from his Daddy. 

And his best quality... he loves his Mommy the most. ;)

Our Baby Boy Is Here!

                                   Life & Parenthood just got a little more sweeter!
                                                                     Introducing our newest little addition...

Tyler Alexander Adams

Monday, June 17, 2013, 6:28pm

6 lbs 8 oz

20 1/4 inches

Every bit of PERFECT!

Little Tyler Feet! Eeeek!!!

Comfy at Home

Book of Possibilities Brunch

Last Saturday, I had the privilege of celebrating my friend, Beth's 32nd Birthday, with 7 other fabulous ladies for a breakfast brunch. This was not just any ordinary birthday brunch....it was a Book of Possibilities Creation Brunch. It's been a week later and I'm still thinking about it, being inspired, and being stirred to pray for other ladies' God given dreams! Not to mention, I think this would be a fabulous idea for my 30th birthday!

Beth's idea was inspired by the Queen Latifah movie, "Last Holiday" and the book "Dreaming with God" by Bill Johnson. The idea is combined with Georgia's (Last Holiday) book of possibilities that she chooses to start living out after being diagnosed with a terminal illness and putting a twist on it by being inspired/listening to God's heart and dreams for our lives.

After a yummy breakfast together, we sat down to a table full of magazines, scrapbooking goodness, craft supplies (not limited to neon glitter), and the Holy Spirit.

Beth shared some inspiring thoughts. One of them I remember from my dream blog, "If your dreams don't scare you, then they aren't big enough." She shared that it is never too late to start dreaming and that we could all could stand to dream more! Totally true! My friend, Star, then started us off with a question, "What is something that you have never done before?"

Immediately, I started thinking of a hot air balloon. As I was envisioning this idea, I started to question myself, 'Is this what the Holy Spirit really has in mind?' Then, the friend sitting next to me opened up with a dream she had that involved a hot air balloon. Boom! Confirmation! Thinking I would never find a picture of a hot air balloon in a magazine to cut out for my page, it all the sudden appeared while cutting something out for a marriage ministry dream.

God has all kinds of dreams for us! Ones that involve our every day world, ministry, creativity, imagination, life dreams, and yes, even hot air balloon rides! We just have to tap into His heart and collaborate with His dreams and plans for our lives. They are dreams and possibilities bigger than we can imagine for ourselves. It's exhilarating and beautiful, but can be a bit scary, daring, and out of our comfort zones at the same time.

"No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15)

If I look at the big picture of what God is inspiring me to do and has planned out for me...it's a bit scary to think that God has given me that kind of potential inside myself. The books we started creating are works in progress. We will be adding more to our books as the Holy Spirit downloads ideas to our hearts and life. And not only will we be adding, but we will be doing. The books are inspiration to actions lead out by His perfect timing and will in our lives. Beautiful!

Picture of my dream pages here soon!

My husband took them out of town with him. Haha!

Color, Birds, Romance

My favorite blogs to write are the inspiring ones where God talks to me through my everyday experiences. God is always teaching and whispering on my heart. This week I feel like God has just been whispering...'Enjoy Me!, Enjoy these moments!, Soak Me up and worship.'

The idea couldn't be more perfect as it is winding down the last few weeks of being just us girlies during the day before our Baby Boy arrives. But there seemed to be an underlying theme of color and birds intertwined with God's romance.

At the start of the week, I was thinking. I wonder if God's favorite colors are Blue and Green. If you look around at His creations: the grass, trees, plants are all green. And blue makes up most of the earth with the waters and the sky! Even little Robin eggs are blue. Then, thinking deeper...every color we see and excites us was created with God's amazing imagination put into existence. Whoa...totally time to get awed away by the Father!

A couple days later, Anna put on my crazy colored footed socks, which looked like tube socks on her little legs. She was a true Rainbow Brite in the making. I couldn't help but enjoy her crazy personality coming out. She has such a creative side, which we all know comes from me! :) But where did I get my creativity...totally from the Father's heart, just as she did. Enjoying my silly little girl as she took joy in socks made me realize how much the Father enjoys me too. I'm totally on His heart. I'm not overlooked by the two cute little stinkers that are pieces of my heart running around on the outside. Since becoming a Mother, I tend to get overshadowed by their sweet bundle of cuteness and even overlook myself as well. It just naturally happens that way, but God hasn't overlooked any piece of me. 

We have played outside a lot this week. It's been gorgeous out in the mornings with a slight breeze. As I sat on our porch swing, with my feet up, watching the girls play with the breeze touching my skin and hair, it somehow felt wrapped up with a breeze of  His presence. It took me back to His romance in my childhood. He was reminiscing with me and lovin' on me all at once. As I breathed in the moments, I wondered how God would romance my girls through their childhood. Would they notice? Would they soak Him in as I did? Would it be similar? Sharing the romance of His presence totally made those moments as we played ball, blocks, or just sitting next to the slide while they took turns handing out high fives after sliding down just that much more sweeter.

If you have ever read the book, "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldridge, in Chapter 7, "Romanced," Stasi talked about how she longed to be romanced by the Father as He did her husband with the whales on one of their trips to the beach. Instead, a couple days later, she got hundreds and hundreds of colorful starfish. A sight and experience designed just for her alone by the Father. He wanted to reveal His heart and love for her. God has romanced me in the past with birds. It wasn't until I was married that my husband unveiled God's full meaning for romancing me with this gesture.

Just as my girls started to discover the birds landing in our yard and trying to run after them this past week, we had a Blue Jay family take nest in our tree. As I spot the blue bird couple out our window almost every where I turn, I couldn't help but think we are having a boy and adding blue to our household just as these gorgeous blue birds have taken nest at our home. God mentions the birds of the air in His Word*.

Every encounter, I learn more of the Father's heart. He made this week much more precious and memorable just by sharing in our every day.

*Matthew 6:26, Matthew 10:29, Job 38:41, Psalm 50:11, Psalm 104:24, Psalm 147:9

Mommy Blues and Fresh Perspectives

Recently, I got to have some much needed girl time with one of my best friends. Our conversations usually center around what God is doing in our lives...and I can tell you that we end up in a time warp. Five hours can go by like it was two before it's so late that my husband usually texts her to tell her to send home his overly tired pregnant wife. Haha!

I shared with her how I have been in a Mommy funk or what I like to call the "Mommy Blues." It's been hard being at home and not being able to participate in all the things I want to do, see all the friends I want to spend time with, and just generally, being kind of lonely in toddler world. I can't remember the last time I had a break and it's been a couple months since I have had a date with my husband.

My mornings have looked a little like this every day this week: In the first 5 minutes the girls are up while I am getting breakfast together, the girls go straight to the bathroom, throw my clothes and suede boots into the bathtub and turn on the water. While digging out the soggy mess, they run to the next room pouring out all the seasonings my husband left out on the table, all over the floor including pouring salt on the raisins they are eating and having a meltdown because I throw them away.

Or changing Anna's diaper only to have Esther slinging baby food all over the carpet and while scrubbing and "Resolving" the mess, I find Anna is pouring laundry detergent in the litter box and then trying to scoop the detergent back out into the detergent bucket. Ahhhhhh......

I have had an unspeakable joy through these Mommy times. I love it so! The normal Mommy days just don't get to me. I can store up gladness like a camel and carry through. But my reserve has started to dry up. I'm thirsty. I'm so thirsty! I'm falling short by The Well. I'm unraveling....

My dear friend had all the fresh perspectives I needed to start changing it all around and to start living in the face of the Lord again. She reminded me that this is a season God has placed me in with purpose. Everything in this season is different and I can't compare it to the last. The people I'm pouring into looks different than I envisioned...I'm discipling two toddlers to grow up to go out and shine in the world. My worship and service has new and different aspects...changing diapers, feeding, comforting, singing songs and playing are all acts of worship unto the Lord. And until the kids get a little bigger and I can start having a little more freedom, God has Grace for me in this season.

She also suggested in my quiet time reading that I stick to the Psalms for a while. The Psalms record David's ups and downs... his joy, his anger, his praise, his sorrow, his crying out unto the Lord, his struggles...it's all there. Each day I have read, it's been like, 'Whoa! This is how I feel today.' It's like an outline to lay my feelings and circumstances at the alter of the Most High daily, moment by moment and not forgetting to worship in the mist of it all. The words meditate on my heart all day long. It's bringing back that joy aspect into my day.

We had some friends pray over my husband and I after our "Baby Sprinkle." My heart broke down as one prayed how I had walked out this past season alone in excellence, but this season isn't going to be repeated with our new baby. I will have more help, more friends stopping by to visit, boldness to ask friends for help, and the fullness of His joy will wash over me again...new, every day! I felt as though a portion of my plate of burdens was lifted right off my shoulders. God hasn't forgotten where He has placed me. He's about to start something new in my daily Mommyhood. Their sweet prayers spoke that I am the Lord's delight!

It wasn't until sharing my burdens in Small Group last night that I felt totally freed. The Lord took the last few scoops off my plate and took them all for Him to bare. Everything is changing and my heart is now light!

Sure, this morning, I indulged in a cup of chocolate pudding with my eggs, toast, and o.j out of pity for myself. Yesterday, I couldn't wait to escape out the door just for an hour dental appt that was 8 months over due. I look on with exasperation as I can no longer keep up with the girls, laundry, and dishes and am unsure if my house will ever be clean again. The nursery still isn't prepared for our new boy. And Kyle and I are holding our breath for my thoughtful Dad to visit next weekend to give us a date night....
One of the toughest weeks that looked like the end of me became a week I am filled again and being restored to my full Motherhood joy. I am exactly where God wants me to be.

Matthew 11: ²⁸Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

What 18 Months Looks Like

We have twins and somehow, I think this makes us a little interesting. Everyone wants to know what's going on in our world. Not to mention, everyone has lots of questions. :) 

The girls just turned 18 months old and my heart grows bigger every day. Twins are a very special gift. A joy only few get to experience. I'm so thankful God blessed us with more than I knew to ask for. 

Anna and Esther love climbing everything, exploring everything, and dancing around the kitchen to music with Momma while spinning around in circles until they fall down.

Reading books have replaced almost all toy play in the house. They sure didn't get that from me! Ha! We read the same handful of favorite books over and over all day long. Some books I want to hide after reading 100x, but my favorite part of reading one of their favorite books is near the end when the Mama kisses the Baby, the girls each give me a kiss too. I melt. :) When Esther reads by herself, she has a distinct reading voice. It seems like she is trying to mimic how I read to them. Her little mumbles pitch up and down really fast. I can't help but think it's the cutest thing ever! 

And although they both look alike, dress alike, share the same schedules, play with the same toys, tend to be extremely shy, and have infectious smiles and laughs, these two girls couldn't be more different in personality. They are not much alike in character at all. It's so fun to watch as they are learning to express themselves more and more. 

Esther Autumn

Weighing in at 23 lbs

and 31 inches tall

with 11 Teeth

This little bundle of mischievousness has become a big Daddy's Girl. It is so adorably cute. She follows her Daddy all around the house, gets excited when he comes home from work, talks about him during the day when he's not home, and tries to wear his shoes whenever they are found laying around. She is in almost every way just like him. I can't seem to find any qualities of myself in her at all. She is all Daddy! She is serious and reflective, a tease, a daredevil, more independent and quiet, and is always soaking in her surroundings and trying to figure out how everything works or goes together more than the average toddler. We think she has Kyle's genius engineer brain. :)  Her qualities tend to get herself in more trouble than Anna since she is always exploring and observing everything around her. 

Favorites:

Food: Tomatoes

Toy: Corn Popper and Little People Disney Princess Castle

Song: Ring-Around-the-Rosie

Book: "Little Loon & Papa" by Toni Buzzeo

Cat: Flopsey 

Favorite Esther Stories:

I gave my husband a new watch for our anniversary that he started wearing every day. Obviously, Esther has taken notice in a very short time. One day my husband forgot to put it on, when he got home from work, Esther excitedly greeted him, then ran straight to our bedroom to grab the watch off the nightstand, bringing it promptly to put in his hands. We were astonished!

The girls have a pink toy 4-wheeler that they got for their 1st birthday. Anna has taken ownership of it completely. She rides around on it all throughout the day. She never gives Esther a chance to ride it. If Esther tries, Anna will quickly come and push her off and take over. Esther has discovered this to be to her advantage. If Anna has something that Esther wants but Anna won't share, Esther will run over to get on the 4-wheeler. The result: Anna will drop what she has, run over, and get on the wheeler...leaving Esther with the prize. Haha! :)

Anna Elizabeth

Weighing in at 23 lbs

at 31 inches tall

with 10 Teeth

Anna has become quite the little ham and coming into her own. She's starting to express her goofy little personality more and more. She is starting to put tiny baby size sentences together. "Where you?," "What do you?," and "Out my way" are some of her newest additions. "Oh uh" still being my favorite. :) She makes cute little faces as she jibber-jabbers all through the day especially as she tries to communicate with us.

Unlike Esther, she is more like her Mommy. :) She already loves to draw and color! She loves our afternoon sensory/creative play activities the most (i.e. flour or rice play, water play, painting, pebbles w/cups bin). She will stay completely focused for at least an hour, which is abnormal for this huff-n-puff all go girl. She is all play and all talk all day long. Some of my family will appreciate this one: she is starting to develop a slight "bag lady" tendency I had around age 2. We will have to watch to see if it progresses. ;)

Favorites:

Food: Chicken Nuggets

Toy: Shopping Cart and Pink 4-Wheeler

Song: Itsy Bitsy Spider

Book: "Llama Llama Red Pajama" by Anna Dewdney
and "My Farm Friends" by Wendell Minor 

Cat: Bebes

Recent Favorite Anna Stories:
When Anna is in full form of hamming it up in front of everyone, she has developed a "duck walk" where she bends her knees as she walks, sometimes bobbing her head a bit. It's my favorite!

My Dad and his wife both work for Frito-Lay and Lance, so we always get a huge box full of chips and goodies whenever we have a visit with them. Just last week, we had a new assortment, which "Nina" had included animal cookies. Anna dumped out the entire box onto the floor, recognizing and picking out the cookies, and brought them to me, begging for me to open it to eat some. Haha! Smarty pants!