Color, Birds, Romance

My favorite blogs to write are the inspiring ones where God talks to me through my everyday experiences. God is always teaching and whispering on my heart. This week I feel like God has just been whispering...'Enjoy Me!, Enjoy these moments!, Soak Me up and worship.'

The idea couldn't be more perfect as it is winding down the last few weeks of being just us girlies during the day before our Baby Boy arrives. But there seemed to be an underlying theme of color and birds intertwined with God's romance.

At the start of the week, I was thinking. I wonder if God's favorite colors are Blue and Green. If you look around at His creations: the grass, trees, plants are all green. And blue makes up most of the earth with the waters and the sky! Even little Robin eggs are blue. Then, thinking deeper...every color we see and excites us was created with God's amazing imagination put into existence. Whoa...totally time to get awed away by the Father!

A couple days later, Anna put on my crazy colored footed socks, which looked like tube socks on her little legs. She was a true Rainbow Brite in the making. I couldn't help but enjoy her crazy personality coming out. She has such a creative side, which we all know comes from me! :) But where did I get my creativity...totally from the Father's heart, just as she did. Enjoying my silly little girl as she took joy in socks made me realize how much the Father enjoys me too. I'm totally on His heart. I'm not overlooked by the two cute little stinkers that are pieces of my heart running around on the outside. Since becoming a Mother, I tend to get overshadowed by their sweet bundle of cuteness and even overlook myself as well. It just naturally happens that way, but God hasn't overlooked any piece of me. 

We have played outside a lot this week. It's been gorgeous out in the mornings with a slight breeze. As I sat on our porch swing, with my feet up, watching the girls play with the breeze touching my skin and hair, it somehow felt wrapped up with a breeze of  His presence. It took me back to His romance in my childhood. He was reminiscing with me and lovin' on me all at once. As I breathed in the moments, I wondered how God would romance my girls through their childhood. Would they notice? Would they soak Him in as I did? Would it be similar? Sharing the romance of His presence totally made those moments as we played ball, blocks, or just sitting next to the slide while they took turns handing out high fives after sliding down just that much more sweeter.

If you have ever read the book, "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldridge, in Chapter 7, "Romanced," Stasi talked about how she longed to be romanced by the Father as He did her husband with the whales on one of their trips to the beach. Instead, a couple days later, she got hundreds and hundreds of colorful starfish. A sight and experience designed just for her alone by the Father. He wanted to reveal His heart and love for her. God has romanced me in the past with birds. It wasn't until I was married that my husband unveiled God's full meaning for romancing me with this gesture.

Just as my girls started to discover the birds landing in our yard and trying to run after them this past week, we had a Blue Jay family take nest in our tree. As I spot the blue bird couple out our window almost every where I turn, I couldn't help but think we are having a boy and adding blue to our household just as these gorgeous blue birds have taken nest at our home. God mentions the birds of the air in His Word*.

Every encounter, I learn more of the Father's heart. He made this week much more precious and memorable just by sharing in our every day.

*Matthew 6:26, Matthew 10:29, Job 38:41, Psalm 50:11, Psalm 104:24, Psalm 147:9

Reflections of 2 Year Newbies (Part 2)

In case you missed Part 1, you can find it here: Reflections of 2 Year Newbies (Pt 1).

4. Expectations
One of the best pieces of wisdom we received was in pre-marriage counseling. We had no idea until marriage started playing out that it would be so true. We have found that almost 98% of all arguments, attitudes, and disappointments can be traced back to some kind of expectation that was not met by the other. With this wisdom, we are able to recognize and address issues quickly because we realize when we are upset that we are not really mad at the other, we are only disappointed with the specific unmet expectation.

Our marriage counselors also had each of us to write out our marriage expectations on paper before getting married so that we would be aware of each others presumptions and would both be on the same page. It was significant for me to understand what my husband expected of me as his wife. We still have our written expectations. We look back on them every now and then as reminders.

5. Forgive Easily and Ask for It
My husband is very good at asking for forgiveness when he disappoints me. It is rather humbling and I can't help but to immediately have a softened heart and forgive him.

In marriage, I always need more of this, especially as a woman. I think it is much easier, for us as women, to stand firm whether we are right or wrong. We also tend to keep quiet, hold on to a lists of grievances, and then explode later. This is me! But that's not love or marriage. We have to learn to forgive easily with that special grace we gently have. :)

Kindness leads to forgiveness. (Rom. 2:4)


6. Understanding Love Languages
Naturally, we have a tendency to love one another in the way we want to be loved, but it's not necessarily the best way to love the other. For example, it is exciting and thoughtful when my husband brings home flowers for me. However, I am pretty doubtful that my husband would get that same excitement if I brought him home a bouquet. :)

The same concept comes in understanding each other's Love Languages ["The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman]. Without it, we have found that the other person may not be receiving the love you are intending to pour out upon the other because it's in a way they don't understand. 

My love languages shifted a little after the babies were born. My husband recently discovered that my once not so love language of  "acts of service" changed with full time motherhood. Now, I feel extra love from him when he comes home from work on one of my exhausted days and he notices I need help. I would have never felt this love from him previously because, until now, it was not my love language.

I know my husband's love language is mostly physical, so I make sure to rub his arms often, hold his hand, and hug him plenty.... Oh, and kissing him just about every time we pass while doing our hum drum around the house. He eats it up. I want our marriage to be a buffet of the type of love he needs just as he wants the same for me.

Comprehending one's love language can also teach you how that person accepts forgiveness and it is easier to communicate properly

You can take the quiz free here to find out your Love Language: Gary Chapman's Love Language Quiz


7. Fox Hunt
It's imperative that we as a couple are always on the lookout for the enemy's chances to take hold of our marriage. He wants nothing more than to destroy it. There are always small holes where our defenses are down, where we aren't paying attention to things that can take root to cause deeper problems later. We call these things, "foxes."

Song of Solomon 2:15- "Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!"

Recently, for a small example, we made an observation that smartphones, computers, and the television were distracting us from each other. They were closing off much needed quality time and important communication with each other, so we banned those items in most of our routines so that we can focus on and enjoy one another.

"Foxes" are sly and deceitful, waiting to entangle themselves in our marriage at any moment. It's our responsibility to constantly be on the lookout and hunt out the unfruitful things taking stake in our marriage. If we are sensitive to the Spirit, He will guide us and help us to discern weak areas where He can make us a strong and stay strong in Him.


8. Defend One Another
You may not notice this one until it happens, but the moment my spouse doesn't defend me, I immediately feel betrayed. Having the confidence that my husband stands behind me no matter what, goes a long way. This applies to family, friends, and children. When in the wrong, he is still to defend me and I am to defend him, and correction may be made in private together (another piece of great wisdom from pre-marital counselors).

I also want to be held accountable and to never speak negatively of my husband to my girlfriends or even to my family. It's easy to start venting when spending time in the girl circle, but it is damaging! I am to respect my husband and defend his honor. My husband would never speak ill of me while hanging out with his guy friends. It gives me confidence in him and our marriage, same goes for him.

However, there are times of marital struggle and conflict, but you should have one or two accountability/mentoring relationships that you and your husband have agreed and sought out to go to for advice and to speak freely, but this accountability should be a place of wise council and voice into your marriage, not for the sole purpose of venting or gossip.


9. Womanly Spice (ahem...Intimacy)
Okay, okay...last one...

(My best piece of wisdom I can ever give you on the subject of a healthy, beautiful intimacy with your hubs is to read, "Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making?" It's one of my all time favorite books/studies I have ever done.) 

Often times, marriage brings about a comfort zone for women that rarely comes out of it's shell. Remember when you were dating, it took you hours to get ready, prettied, and perfumed up for a date? I think a lot of us women tend to leave that special spice and charm at the marriage alter or especially when Motherhood adventures begin in a marriage. 

After a day of drool, spit up, and baby food showered over you, it's easy to forget your womanhood, trust me, I'm there.

I try to make it a point to go to bed pretty every so often (try once a week). I tend to do this more in the Summer to make up for the winter months when I like to "Seal Skin" it up since I am so cold natured. I was surprised how simple this is and how much my husband appreciates and loves it.

I also try to be careful not to reject my husband. This goes beyond the subject of sex. I want to be his "home" where he is always loved and accepted. I think these are qualities that are far overlooked in a marriage.

Psychology Today Magazine said it well, "Rejection by the person with whom we have pledged to share our life is much odder and more humiliating." 

Another form of rejection that is easy in this stage of Motherhood is to view my husband as just another kid, or someone I need to take care of, when he walks in the door from a long day at work. I get in a habit of ordering him around just like the kids with things to do or things that need to be done. I find myself going behind him to pick up, cook for, or even just meeting his needs intimately can seem like something else to check off the list of my duties. 

Let me say how unhealthy this pattern is. Momhood is e.x.h.a.u.s.t.i.n.g., but don't let this become a wedge in your marriage. My husband is not one of the kids, as obvious as that is. He's my help meet. He's my lover. I am to honor him. 

For me, I broke this cycle by thinking good thoughts about my husband throughout my days. I think about all the things I love about him, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually while he is away at work during the day. It keeps the relationship in perspective and kind of in that infatuated state. It's easy to default to negative especially on a frustrating day and to think about the things he didn't do or what he's not doing right. Finding all those things you love, makes you look forward to the moment he walks in the door, lets you forgive more easily when he isn't that perfect man you thought you married, and more often than not, gears you up for some good luvin' after the kids hit the hay. ;) 

I am my Beloved's and he is mine. -Song of Solomon 6:3

The Moon? Throw a Lasso Around It!

If you were one that attended our wedding, you heard my sister give a very memorable but sentimental toast at the reception. Her toast described how I have always loved Disney. When I was a child, it started with all the fairy tales: Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Cinderella, etc., but then as I grew up, so did Disney. I moved on to guilty pleasures like the High School Musicals, Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, etc . The point was I always had a dream of a fairy tale romance. It almost seemed like an impossible dream or that my expectations were to the sky. In short, her toast was describing that I had finally found my fairy tale romance that I had always dreamed of. Kyle romances me to the moon and back and I love it! It makes our relationship exciting and spicy.

This dream of a fairy tale romance was not given completely by those Disney tales, although they do fill a girls head with all the right ideas! Ha! But it was inspired by God who created me with the dream and desire to be swept off my feet not only in a dating relationship but in my marriage too. He knew the plans He had made for my life and only drove me to crave it until I found it- Kyle. It wasn't easy believing that dream could come true and there was a time I forfeited it altogether, but God restored me to that privileged dream.

This week God began awakening me to start dreaming big dreams with Him. I don't know yet what these dreams may be or what they may even look like, but they have me eagerly seeking out the Father's heart. They are dreams that seem bigger than I am. Ones that leave me feeling intimidated, apprehensive, but yet intrigued and anticipated all in the same breath. I feel like they will push me out of my comfort zones, but only to find even bigger joy and double portions when I get there. It is hard to reach down inside yourself to find what you or I are really capable of doing/being....to push myself straight into God's big plans!  

I feel like Genesis 15:5 when ^"the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” 

I'm not speaking of descendants here. Haha! God is figuratively speaking like George Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life." "What is it you want, Mary Ashley? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary Ashley."

God's taking me under the clouds of the day, under the starry night sky, and wanting me to dream dreams with Him. That is just indescribably exciting!!! I am aligning myself with Him, His Will, and His big Dreams. I get to be part of God's plan! And then see them fulfilled!

It is only when we align our dreams with God that those dreams can really come true! Not by our own works, striving, strengths, or selfish aspirations. It's when we submit entirely to God and His prosperous plans for our lives. Dreaming Big Dreams with His Heart!

In order for those dreams to be fulfilled, He is calling me to have faith, childlike faith, to believe in Him so that we can take hold of those dreams that are in store. To have faith that only He, the Almighty, can do. The anything, everything, and the impossible.

Now that might seem easy, but I look at Abraham who was 100 years old, and think....I would have to dig deep to find that faith in believing God would give me a son at that age. But Genesis 15:6 says, "And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith."

Are you inspired to dream dreams with the Most High? He wants to dream enormous dreams with you! The easy ones... that husband you're waiting for, that job you're anticipating, a captivating romance, a restored marriage, missions, or the impossible ones that our hearts have yet to dream with Him or ones in the process of being fulfilled by Him. 

I look at where I am now compared to just years ago. I have undeserving favor and living dreams I never knew could really be obtained, better ones than I could have ever imagined, and God's calling for more... more dreams, more joy, more of His heart and less of mine! There's always more dreams to be dreamed. We don't just have so settle with current aspired dreams. I don't want to become complacent in the dreams God has already and is fulfilling in my life. There's so much more to God and His heart to be shared with us!! 

An Intimate Piece

My husband and I have recently discovered a new joy in our relationship with each other.

This new Joy is simply going deep with one another.

Most evenings, lately, we find ourselves turning off our television and going to bed early to spend intentional time snuggling, talking, truly enjoying, and paying attention to one another...what we like to call “intimate conversations”. Of course, this usually includes a back massage for me!! Ha! 

We then find ourselves unintentionally waking up the next morning for more snuggling, close conversation, and laughter. Enjoying each other after being away in sleep. It seems the more time we spend purposefully paying attention and listening to one another, the more we feel we need this in our marriage. We are going deeper in our relationship and finding more joy in our love and marriage that has poured itself out just by going deeper and engaging with one another. The Father is talking to us and writing on our hearts and we can't help but watch the sparks fly. It's lovely. 

Just as our marriage has drawn us both together intimately, and with time, we go deeper with one another, God is calling all of us to go deeper. The deep part of His heart is asking us to turn off the distractions and is inviting us to an intimate conversation with Him. He longs to share the intimate details of His heart with us and to be given the entirety of yours. He wants to reciprocate sweet nothings....He wants to be worshipped. He wants to share His heart with you, romance you, most of all....LOVE you. He wants to be an intimate part of your heart. He wants to love on you because He loves you so intimately.

It's Who   He   is! 

It's this love and intimacy with the Father our souls crave. We will find ourselves excited by Him, filled with joy because of Him, anticipating encounters with Him, drawn closer to Him.  

St. Augustine in his book “Confessions," said,

"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.

He wrote your name on the palm of His hand. (Isaiah 49:16)

He writes down every tear that falls from your eyes. (Psalm 56:8)

He knows the exact number of hairs on your head. (Matthew 10:30)

He knows every detail about you 
and He wants you!

He wants an intimate part of you and for you to be an intimate part of Him!

  

We are truly loved by the Creator of the Universe.

It's time to go deeper! 

Are you going?