To My Hermana

Amy, remember those "feelings" we used to get when we little girls watching Disney movies? The ones no one else on the planet Earth would ever know what we were talking about and would think we were crazy if we ever tried to explain it? It wasn't until the other night I felt like I had full revelation of our experiences.

The Holy Spirit was actively in our childhood instilling in us a higher calling for love, romance, and deep intimacy in marriages. I believe those "feelings" were Him being present in our moments. 

(Stick with me here before you find me absolutely ridiculous. I know you probably have a big smile on your face, shaking your head with that look you give me when I'm full of it.)

We grew up in a magical childhood before 4th grade hit, 2nd for you, and maybe a little bit more me with all my singing in the trees stuff. Ha! But thinking about it, we never had a real glimpse of true love and romance. We never saw it in our parents or in those around us. Most marriages we saw were normal or passive, nothing in the 'dreams come true' category. On top of it, our parents separated and you would think our security blanket of trust would be completely shattered, but it wasn't. After having no basis of 'happily ever afters,' we should have stopped believing such romance can exist. Many will still remain skeptical.

When we were caught in the pit of relationships, the farthest from any 'fairy tale,' we never stopped doubting it could still be found. In a way, I think it has kept us unsettled in the mist of terrible choices to keep us searching...it's out there. God has been prompting us to find it all along.

When I had lost sight of the dream, I remember closing at work one night with Erin at the Envy. She had come a long way since I worked with her at the Lobster and she was sharing her story with me. I will never forget her words to me: 'You can have it all. Your own fairy tale too.' It was a huge game changer to put things in fresh perspective after seeing our sweet friend find true happiness.

It wasn't until I met Kyle that all the silly things I had dreamed of started falling into place. You of all people know I had some pretty crazy expectations for a husband. Oddly, I have a husband who loves looking at stars through a telescope with me on warm summer nights, laying in the hammock under the stars (with the kid monitor feet away), or baking pumpkin pie while watching old black & white classic movies in sweet snuggles. And regardless of what Mom said every Sunday lunch, I found one that will cut my steak for me too. ::Inserting your, "Dork" comment here:: Haha!

My future husband knew from the moment he saw me, that I was everything he had been waiting for. He pursued me, romanced me to the moon, and couldn't wait to marry me (with big tears in his eyes at the sight of me). Even with spontaneous romance on the back burner with a house full of toddlers, love is much sweeter and I love being desired every day.

God didn't intend for just one of us to experience great love. We (me & you) were meant to have it and now it's your turn!!

Your love isn't going to look the same as ours. It's going to be just as God designed for YOU.

I know you are contemplating a lot right now, but in this time, I pray God will reveal His heart and His romance for you. Let it be so much that when you meet "The One", you will recognize him because he came straight from the Father's heart.

I love you. We were created for Big Dreams!

VHS Tape

What does complete surrender and reckless abandonment look like?
What does it look like when God blows open my paradigm of expectations and boxes I have confined Him in?

These are some questions I have been pondering in my own life. There seems to be a lot stirring around spiritually and some serious [spiritual] heart surgery taking place.

Many of us can remember the VHS tape.You could watch and record your favorite movies. It was awesome. You thought it couldn't get any better than that. Then, many years later the DVD was introduced along with Blue-Ray, and now Ta-Daa, there's Amazon Instant Video. You can get almost any movie streaming instantly in your home, phone, or tablet with the push of a button.

Sometimes we can end up making God like the VHS tape and stick Him in the box. We find ourselves getting comfortable and complacent. We are happy with the way things are or with what He is doing in our lives and don't think it can get any better than our current circumstance. And honestly, a lot of us think God just can't do the impossible things. We limit His infinite power, resources, glory, and might.  

I totally caught myself doing that this week. My husband mentioned one of the couples in our church who own an orphanage in Kenya. I was totally blown away by the idea and caught myself wanting to put it in my Book of Possibilities to do one day. But then, how could I possibly do that along with the all the other things we have dreams of doing like marriage counseling to others, service/missions, a dress shoppe, enjoying all my kids and their families in the same spot, and with the resources we have, etc.

H.E.L.L.O...I have an AWESOME GOD! 

I put him in a box! Who says I can't do it all! Sure, some things may not happen, like the Betamax. Haha! God may have far and better ministry opportunities than I have imagined. But these desires that God is inspiring do not all have to happen at the same point and time in my life. Each may call forth their own season. They all have their place, working their way up to the next big thing. God will surprise me all along the way in the journey I never thought possible. It will be like abandoning that old VHS for Insta. Mind - Blown!

But in the same sentence, do I know how or what it looks like to live completely surrendered and follow in reckless, blind abandonment. Saying, "Yes, God!" to all of His callings.

Sure, in my mind, I say, 'That's easy. Of course, God.' But when I think how the disciples just dropped everything they had, knew, and owned to follow Jesus when called, "Come and follow me," I'm struggling.

My husband was presented with a possible job promotion over the last week. It would require us to move from our snugly comfort zone of life and home. I found myself saying, "I will go here, but I won't go there." I was putting limits on what God was putting on the table. It may not be what I envisioned, what I wanted, what I looked forward to, and may have ultimately been really challenging, but....

                                                                         where has God failed me yet???

No, we aren't moving. It looks like we are still staying here for another season, but it was a good test of my heart strings. I have work to do. I want and must be in total surrender to His perfect will and calling at all times. There won't always be a warning process. He may instantly want my, 'Yes, God.'

God has bestowed us with many opportunities, talents, gifts, favor, wealth, etc. He doesn't expect us to selfishly keep it all for ourselves in our own boxes as well. He wants us to impart it, share it with everyone around us. He is embracing us with heart choices. Choices of saying, "Yes!"

And in turn, God will blow open our small box in our small mind of what He looks like, His Glory and Power, and give us a much BIGGER picture of WHO HE IS.

Book of Possibilities Brunch

Last Saturday, I had the privilege of celebrating my friend, Beth's 32nd Birthday, with 7 other fabulous ladies for a breakfast brunch. This was not just any ordinary birthday brunch....it was a Book of Possibilities Creation Brunch. It's been a week later and I'm still thinking about it, being inspired, and being stirred to pray for other ladies' God given dreams! Not to mention, I think this would be a fabulous idea for my 30th birthday!

Beth's idea was inspired by the Queen Latifah movie, "Last Holiday" and the book "Dreaming with God" by Bill Johnson. The idea is combined with Georgia's (Last Holiday) book of possibilities that she chooses to start living out after being diagnosed with a terminal illness and putting a twist on it by being inspired/listening to God's heart and dreams for our lives.

After a yummy breakfast together, we sat down to a table full of magazines, scrapbooking goodness, craft supplies (not limited to neon glitter), and the Holy Spirit.

Beth shared some inspiring thoughts. One of them I remember from my dream blog, "If your dreams don't scare you, then they aren't big enough." She shared that it is never too late to start dreaming and that we could all could stand to dream more! Totally true! My friend, Star, then started us off with a question, "What is something that you have never done before?"

Immediately, I started thinking of a hot air balloon. As I was envisioning this idea, I started to question myself, 'Is this what the Holy Spirit really has in mind?' Then, the friend sitting next to me opened up with a dream she had that involved a hot air balloon. Boom! Confirmation! Thinking I would never find a picture of a hot air balloon in a magazine to cut out for my page, it all the sudden appeared while cutting something out for a marriage ministry dream.

God has all kinds of dreams for us! Ones that involve our every day world, ministry, creativity, imagination, life dreams, and yes, even hot air balloon rides! We just have to tap into His heart and collaborate with His dreams and plans for our lives. They are dreams and possibilities bigger than we can imagine for ourselves. It's exhilarating and beautiful, but can be a bit scary, daring, and out of our comfort zones at the same time.

"No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15)

If I look at the big picture of what God is inspiring me to do and has planned out for me...it's a bit scary to think that God has given me that kind of potential inside myself. The books we started creating are works in progress. We will be adding more to our books as the Holy Spirit downloads ideas to our hearts and life. And not only will we be adding, but we will be doing. The books are inspiration to actions lead out by His perfect timing and will in our lives. Beautiful!

Picture of my dream pages here soon!

My husband took them out of town with him. Haha!

The Moon? Throw a Lasso Around It!

If you were one that attended our wedding, you heard my sister give a very memorable but sentimental toast at the reception. Her toast described how I have always loved Disney. When I was a child, it started with all the fairy tales: Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Cinderella, etc., but then as I grew up, so did Disney. I moved on to guilty pleasures like the High School Musicals, Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, etc . The point was I always had a dream of a fairy tale romance. It almost seemed like an impossible dream or that my expectations were to the sky. In short, her toast was describing that I had finally found my fairy tale romance that I had always dreamed of. Kyle romances me to the moon and back and I love it! It makes our relationship exciting and spicy.

This dream of a fairy tale romance was not given completely by those Disney tales, although they do fill a girls head with all the right ideas! Ha! But it was inspired by God who created me with the dream and desire to be swept off my feet not only in a dating relationship but in my marriage too. He knew the plans He had made for my life and only drove me to crave it until I found it- Kyle. It wasn't easy believing that dream could come true and there was a time I forfeited it altogether, but God restored me to that privileged dream.

This week God began awakening me to start dreaming big dreams with Him. I don't know yet what these dreams may be or what they may even look like, but they have me eagerly seeking out the Father's heart. They are dreams that seem bigger than I am. Ones that leave me feeling intimidated, apprehensive, but yet intrigued and anticipated all in the same breath. I feel like they will push me out of my comfort zones, but only to find even bigger joy and double portions when I get there. It is hard to reach down inside yourself to find what you or I are really capable of doing/being....to push myself straight into God's big plans!  

I feel like Genesis 15:5 when ^"the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” 

I'm not speaking of descendants here. Haha! God is figuratively speaking like George Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life." "What is it you want, Mary Ashley? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary Ashley."

God's taking me under the clouds of the day, under the starry night sky, and wanting me to dream dreams with Him. That is just indescribably exciting!!! I am aligning myself with Him, His Will, and His big Dreams. I get to be part of God's plan! And then see them fulfilled!

It is only when we align our dreams with God that those dreams can really come true! Not by our own works, striving, strengths, or selfish aspirations. It's when we submit entirely to God and His prosperous plans for our lives. Dreaming Big Dreams with His Heart!

In order for those dreams to be fulfilled, He is calling me to have faith, childlike faith, to believe in Him so that we can take hold of those dreams that are in store. To have faith that only He, the Almighty, can do. The anything, everything, and the impossible.

Now that might seem easy, but I look at Abraham who was 100 years old, and think....I would have to dig deep to find that faith in believing God would give me a son at that age. But Genesis 15:6 says, "And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith."

Are you inspired to dream dreams with the Most High? He wants to dream enormous dreams with you! The easy ones... that husband you're waiting for, that job you're anticipating, a captivating romance, a restored marriage, missions, or the impossible ones that our hearts have yet to dream with Him or ones in the process of being fulfilled by Him. 

I look at where I am now compared to just years ago. I have undeserving favor and living dreams I never knew could really be obtained, better ones than I could have ever imagined, and God's calling for more... more dreams, more joy, more of His heart and less of mine! There's always more dreams to be dreamed. We don't just have so settle with current aspired dreams. I don't want to become complacent in the dreams God has already and is fulfilling in my life. There's so much more to God and His heart to be shared with us!!