Love Muffin Date

Today, Mommy and Daddy had a lunch and zoo date with our two love muffins. 

 Our Zoo Membership is ending this month and with this beautiful day, we thought we should take advantage of it since new baby brother is coming soon. One of those bittersweet days of just the four of us.

Anna and Esther are such well behaved little ladies at the lunch table. I wouldn't expect this from my little 17 month olds, but their sweet little manners make my heart melt for it. 

Everyone was taking a bite at the same time. Thought it was rather priceless. As you can see Mommy/Baby Boy's plate had more food on it than anyone else's. Ha!

Then it was off to the Zoo!!!

After visiting the lions and tigers, we decided to head over to the Farm Petting Zoo. Esther quickly discovered the ducks!

And then there were two. Haha! I think they both agreed that the swimming ducks were their favorite animals of the zoo. We had to pry them away after a bit of watching.

We even had an awesome Seal encounter while giving pregnant Mommy a sit down break and having a snack. Anna made sure not to miss out on the action.

Esther got a close up too! She was a little hesitant and kept a little more distance between her and the seal.

We had to check out the pretty water fountain before leaving especially since photo Mommy wanted a couple more pics. No toddler cooperation for one though. No loss of expectation there. Ha!
 Esther wanted to play a little too close to the edge. I thought sure we were going to take home a soaked baby. Thankfully, it's only a foot of water and Daddy stayed close to catch her little fearless self.

Sweet day! Sweet memories!

Myrrh Poured Heart

The other day, I had a friend who posted the ever familiar Donna Lewis lyrics: "I love you, always forever. Near or far, Closer together."

It was truly God inspired as I was driving in the car yesterday, the tune popped into my head and I started singing along the famous words. "....Everywhere I will be with you. Everything I do will be for you." It was though God was saying, 'exactly my thoughts.'

You see, I have been struggling with sin separating issues of the heart. These roots can be deeply traced back into childhood. It's damages have resulted in bitterness and resentment causing rock hard layers to surround and squeeze out the God fruit.

My legalistic mindset tells me that God is angry and disappointed with me, that I'm not measuring up, and that God is sitting on the sidelines waiting for me to find freedom and release from these heart infestations all on my own before He will come back on the scene and enter back in. The legalism tells me I'm separated in all ways.

Reflecting on Song of Solomon 5, in the Art of Conflict, I remembered how deeply love moved my heart was in discovering how Solomon responded to his wife's closed heart.

² I slept, but my heart was awake,
    when I heard my lover knocking and calling:
“Open to me, my treasure, my darling,
    my dove, my perfect one.
My head is drenched with dew,
    my hair with the dampness of the night.”

³ But I responded,
“I have taken off my robe.
    Should I get dressed again?
I have washed my feet.
    Should I get them soiled?”

⁴ My lover tried to unlatch the door,
    and my heart thrilled within me.
⁵ I jumped up to open the door for my love,
    and my hands dripped with perfume.
My fingers dripped with lovely myrrh
    as I pulled back the bolt.

Solomon called out to her. God is calling out to me. Solomon wanted her to open her door and heart to him. God is sweetly doing the same to me. When she [I] responded, in dishonor. He responded by pouring "lovely" myrrh on her door. He was leaving "his calling card of love." He didn't respond in anger and disappointment.  

Truth is, it's only with God and His Supernatural love and forgiveness that I can receive heart surgery and move forward. He's right here even though I'm being separated by my flesh and doing the things that I do not want to do (Romans 8). God is pouring myrrh [love] and grace on my closed door of a heart and chiseling away at the brick layer over it to find that soft spot inside to bring freedom, healing, and a deeper connection with Him.

God is omniscient and can see me in the whole picture. He's not frustrated by my current struggles. He sees all of me, all the beauty, all we can overcome together, and He longs to be with me again in my Christ covered self. He sees what I look like when I come out on the other side. And I will be better than before. There are deeper layers of His heart to discover in this too.

Even after rejecting Solomon, he still tried to unlatch the door. Soon, his wife's heart became "thrilled within her" and she jumped up to open the door. Soon, I too will jump up to open the door and my hands and heart with be drenched with the myrrh of His gracious love.

I love you. Always. Forever. 
Near or Far, Push'em together!

Love is the Greatest

Happy Heart's Day, Everyone!

My hubs and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day, although, he didn't hold back on bringing home a long love letter and my favorite bouquet of tulips the day before. Haha! I might be a little spoiled. But regardless, I can't help but to have learned to love the holiday. Maybe because now I'm an overly romanced wife or I'm a little partial to all the PINK and Hearts with my little toddler baby girls! :) 

Oh, did I mention that I love the little message heart candies too! 

I couldn't help to be inspired by the LOVE Day itself.

I think kids have an awesome idea of heart sharing on this holiday. It's not about just one person. They get excited about writing out their cards and/or goodies to all of their friends and can't wait to share them with everyone. They aren't thinking what they get in return, but are spoiled silly when they do.

I was also reminded that love is all about others and not just me me.

1 Corinthians 13 "If could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing."

Then, if you read on to verse 4, it defines what love really is:

^4" Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Some of those standards are pretty hefty when it comes down to it especially when it comes to loving others, but that's why we have to go to the One who created love in the first place. Without Him, we don't really know true love or can we give it away either. Because GOD IS LOVE. 

With God, we can unselfishly [childlike] love those people around us whether in candy heart form or in our actions. It's imperative in showing the greatest Valentine heart of all....God's! Love is WHO HE IS! 

Reflections of 2 Year Newbies (Part 2)

In case you missed Part 1, you can find it here: Reflections of 2 Year Newbies (Pt 1).

4. Expectations
One of the best pieces of wisdom we received was in pre-marriage counseling. We had no idea until marriage started playing out that it would be so true. We have found that almost 98% of all arguments, attitudes, and disappointments can be traced back to some kind of expectation that was not met by the other. With this wisdom, we are able to recognize and address issues quickly because we realize when we are upset that we are not really mad at the other, we are only disappointed with the specific unmet expectation.

Our marriage counselors also had each of us to write out our marriage expectations on paper before getting married so that we would be aware of each others presumptions and would both be on the same page. It was significant for me to understand what my husband expected of me as his wife. We still have our written expectations. We look back on them every now and then as reminders.

5. Forgive Easily and Ask for It
My husband is very good at asking for forgiveness when he disappoints me. It is rather humbling and I can't help but to immediately have a softened heart and forgive him.

In marriage, I always need more of this, especially as a woman. I think it is much easier, for us as women, to stand firm whether we are right or wrong. We also tend to keep quiet, hold on to a lists of grievances, and then explode later. This is me! But that's not love or marriage. We have to learn to forgive easily with that special grace we gently have. :)

Kindness leads to forgiveness. (Rom. 2:4)


6. Understanding Love Languages
Naturally, we have a tendency to love one another in the way we want to be loved, but it's not necessarily the best way to love the other. For example, it is exciting and thoughtful when my husband brings home flowers for me. However, I am pretty doubtful that my husband would get that same excitement if I brought him home a bouquet. :)

The same concept comes in understanding each other's Love Languages ["The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman]. Without it, we have found that the other person may not be receiving the love you are intending to pour out upon the other because it's in a way they don't understand. 

My love languages shifted a little after the babies were born. My husband recently discovered that my once not so love language of  "acts of service" changed with full time motherhood. Now, I feel extra love from him when he comes home from work on one of my exhausted days and he notices I need help. I would have never felt this love from him previously because, until now, it was not my love language.

I know my husband's love language is mostly physical, so I make sure to rub his arms often, hold his hand, and hug him plenty.... Oh, and kissing him just about every time we pass while doing our hum drum around the house. He eats it up. I want our marriage to be a buffet of the type of love he needs just as he wants the same for me.

Comprehending one's love language can also teach you how that person accepts forgiveness and it is easier to communicate properly

You can take the quiz free here to find out your Love Language: Gary Chapman's Love Language Quiz


7. Fox Hunt
It's imperative that we as a couple are always on the lookout for the enemy's chances to take hold of our marriage. He wants nothing more than to destroy it. There are always small holes where our defenses are down, where we aren't paying attention to things that can take root to cause deeper problems later. We call these things, "foxes."

Song of Solomon 2:15- "Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!"

Recently, for a small example, we made an observation that smartphones, computers, and the television were distracting us from each other. They were closing off much needed quality time and important communication with each other, so we banned those items in most of our routines so that we can focus on and enjoy one another.

"Foxes" are sly and deceitful, waiting to entangle themselves in our marriage at any moment. It's our responsibility to constantly be on the lookout and hunt out the unfruitful things taking stake in our marriage. If we are sensitive to the Spirit, He will guide us and help us to discern weak areas where He can make us a strong and stay strong in Him.


8. Defend One Another
You may not notice this one until it happens, but the moment my spouse doesn't defend me, I immediately feel betrayed. Having the confidence that my husband stands behind me no matter what, goes a long way. This applies to family, friends, and children. When in the wrong, he is still to defend me and I am to defend him, and correction may be made in private together (another piece of great wisdom from pre-marital counselors).

I also want to be held accountable and to never speak negatively of my husband to my girlfriends or even to my family. It's easy to start venting when spending time in the girl circle, but it is damaging! I am to respect my husband and defend his honor. My husband would never speak ill of me while hanging out with his guy friends. It gives me confidence in him and our marriage, same goes for him.

However, there are times of marital struggle and conflict, but you should have one or two accountability/mentoring relationships that you and your husband have agreed and sought out to go to for advice and to speak freely, but this accountability should be a place of wise council and voice into your marriage, not for the sole purpose of venting or gossip.


9. Womanly Spice (ahem...Intimacy)
Okay, okay...last one...

(My best piece of wisdom I can ever give you on the subject of a healthy, beautiful intimacy with your hubs is to read, "Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making?" It's one of my all time favorite books/studies I have ever done.) 

Often times, marriage brings about a comfort zone for women that rarely comes out of it's shell. Remember when you were dating, it took you hours to get ready, prettied, and perfumed up for a date? I think a lot of us women tend to leave that special spice and charm at the marriage alter or especially when Motherhood adventures begin in a marriage. 

After a day of drool, spit up, and baby food showered over you, it's easy to forget your womanhood, trust me, I'm there.

I try to make it a point to go to bed pretty every so often (try once a week). I tend to do this more in the Summer to make up for the winter months when I like to "Seal Skin" it up since I am so cold natured. I was surprised how simple this is and how much my husband appreciates and loves it.

I also try to be careful not to reject my husband. This goes beyond the subject of sex. I want to be his "home" where he is always loved and accepted. I think these are qualities that are far overlooked in a marriage.

Psychology Today Magazine said it well, "Rejection by the person with whom we have pledged to share our life is much odder and more humiliating." 

Another form of rejection that is easy in this stage of Motherhood is to view my husband as just another kid, or someone I need to take care of, when he walks in the door from a long day at work. I get in a habit of ordering him around just like the kids with things to do or things that need to be done. I find myself going behind him to pick up, cook for, or even just meeting his needs intimately can seem like something else to check off the list of my duties. 

Let me say how unhealthy this pattern is. Momhood is e.x.h.a.u.s.t.i.n.g., but don't let this become a wedge in your marriage. My husband is not one of the kids, as obvious as that is. He's my help meet. He's my lover. I am to honor him. 

For me, I broke this cycle by thinking good thoughts about my husband throughout my days. I think about all the things I love about him, whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually while he is away at work during the day. It keeps the relationship in perspective and kind of in that infatuated state. It's easy to default to negative especially on a frustrating day and to think about the things he didn't do or what he's not doing right. Finding all those things you love, makes you look forward to the moment he walks in the door, lets you forgive more easily when he isn't that perfect man you thought you married, and more often than not, gears you up for some good luvin' after the kids hit the hay. ;) 

I am my Beloved's and he is mine. -Song of Solomon 6:3

Good Gifts and Goodness

Today, the girls and I made a store run to Target. I love Target and now that I have baby girls, I can't help but get even more trapped in the store by looking in the toddler section at all the cutest outfits I wish I could style my girls up in. Ha! Not only were we going to just get some essentials, but we were going to make a trip down the toy aisle to get the girls a treat. Sure, my girls are only 16 months old and have no idea how to appreciate the toy aisle yet or would even know to be disappointed if we bought something or not, but I had a little bit of Christmas money my grandmother sent for them that was burning a hole in my pocket.

I was super excited as we strolled and hands started reaching out of the stroller trying to grab flashy singing toys as I looked around. And there it was....a play tunnel! As we got in the car to drive home, I was filled with anticipation with the surprise of what would behold them in the box! I get carried away like this every time I am able to get the girls a goody even if it's small one.

As I was basking in my eagerness, the parent comparison quickly came to mind. I'm Mommy to Anna and Esther as God is Daddy to me... and if I'm this excited about giving gifts to my kids, then how much more does the Father get excited to bless me; the verse below.

^{Matthew 7:11} If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

God gets excited about me [about you!] and gets even more exhilarated about blessing me [you] than I can comprehend even in giving with my own kids. God wants to shower us with His goodness and with who he is! 

Sometimes, I don't think we recognize this part of God's heart, but I want to be made more aware. I want to take in His showering love for me and give it back to Him. 

^{James 1:17} Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Alabaster Box

I remember in children's Sunday School, growing up in the Nazarene Church, a certain time every year when they passed out little red cardboard boxes with printed hearts to take home and fill up with coin change. After a few weeks, we were to bring it back and pour our box of change into an "Alabaster" offering. I always felt so proud each time I found or received a coin to insert in my box to save toward the offering though it was never much.

Looking up Luke 7:36-50. Jesus is anointed by Mary, a sinful woman. She came before him with her alabaster jar, wet his feet with her tears, wiped them away with her hair, and poured the perfume from her jar on his feet. While others mocked her, we see Jesus commemorate her actions in Matthew 26: 10-13.

^{Matthew 26:10} Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. ¹¹ The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. ¹² When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.¹³ Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

Reflecting today as an adult and with different perspectives, I am asking heavier questions, What's in your Alabaster Box? What are you offering or pouring out unto the Lord? Is it more than just your coin change or leftovers or is it everything you have to lay before the Lord?

Am I laying down my hopes and dreams? My burdens? My praise and worship? My whole heart?

The Egyptian reference to Alabaster is a "vase of perfumes." When I am around others, am I displaying the aroma of Christ? Are others invited in by the allure of my Master? What within myself am I displaying and pouring out to others from within my box?

I want to begin to think of what my alabaster box looks like every day; the things I insert in and what it is that I pour out and offer to the Lord.

And if you are a Mom like me, you don't always have to be outside the walls of your home to pour out your offering or heart unto the Lord or to others. In my daily home life, how am I displaying Christ's fragrance to my husband and to my children? Honor, patience, peace, laughter (yes, laughter. Joy!!) or are you as proverbs describes a wife as "a dripping faucet?"

We can change the atmosphere around us with the anointed fragrance of our alabaster jars.

Redeeming Love

I love being a Mother! I love and breathe in every moment of it that I can possibly take in. My girls are 15 months old now and I still find myself eating them up as if they were still newborns. This special time goes so fast that my heart doesn't have a chance to keep up with it's pace. I already find myself getting emotional in the most precious moments because I know it won't be this way for very long.

Another unexpected aspect [joy] of motherhood I found was that my experiences seem to erase and wipe away past heartaches and hurtful memories specifically from childhood. It's also like I get a second chance to re-live childhood all together and rewrite it with new memories. Childhood is something I always remembered fondly and wanted to experience again! It's true that your children really are an extension of your heart.

The more I thought about this redeeming love the Lord has bestowed on me with my baby girls and healing my heart (all Him, not my babies), the more I thought that this is how Christ intended for us to feel when He gave us new life. We are "born again." He gives us a 'do over.' He forgets our past [wipes it clean, makes US clean], restores us to heavenly places, and on top of it, is so generous to let us share in His inheritance too.

I can say, even before being a Mother, experiencing His grace over my life and saving me from myself is more I can put into words as it is. He grabbed hold of me, poured astonishing love upon me, and put me back in a place of righteousness. I still pinch myself and thank God daily for this amazing place He has put me back into and blessed my new life. He didn't have to! That's the part that blows me away most with an abundant heart.

^{Ephesians 1:7} In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.