Book of Possibilities Brunch

Last Saturday, I had the privilege of celebrating my friend, Beth's 32nd Birthday, with 7 other fabulous ladies for a breakfast brunch. This was not just any ordinary birthday brunch....it was a Book of Possibilities Creation Brunch. It's been a week later and I'm still thinking about it, being inspired, and being stirred to pray for other ladies' God given dreams! Not to mention, I think this would be a fabulous idea for my 30th birthday!

Beth's idea was inspired by the Queen Latifah movie, "Last Holiday" and the book "Dreaming with God" by Bill Johnson. The idea is combined with Georgia's (Last Holiday) book of possibilities that she chooses to start living out after being diagnosed with a terminal illness and putting a twist on it by being inspired/listening to God's heart and dreams for our lives.

After a yummy breakfast together, we sat down to a table full of magazines, scrapbooking goodness, craft supplies (not limited to neon glitter), and the Holy Spirit.

Beth shared some inspiring thoughts. One of them I remember from my dream blog, "If your dreams don't scare you, then they aren't big enough." She shared that it is never too late to start dreaming and that we could all could stand to dream more! Totally true! My friend, Star, then started us off with a question, "What is something that you have never done before?"

Immediately, I started thinking of a hot air balloon. As I was envisioning this idea, I started to question myself, 'Is this what the Holy Spirit really has in mind?' Then, the friend sitting next to me opened up with a dream she had that involved a hot air balloon. Boom! Confirmation! Thinking I would never find a picture of a hot air balloon in a magazine to cut out for my page, it all the sudden appeared while cutting something out for a marriage ministry dream.

God has all kinds of dreams for us! Ones that involve our every day world, ministry, creativity, imagination, life dreams, and yes, even hot air balloon rides! We just have to tap into His heart and collaborate with His dreams and plans for our lives. They are dreams and possibilities bigger than we can imagine for ourselves. It's exhilarating and beautiful, but can be a bit scary, daring, and out of our comfort zones at the same time.

"No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you." (John 15:15)

If I look at the big picture of what God is inspiring me to do and has planned out for me...it's a bit scary to think that God has given me that kind of potential inside myself. The books we started creating are works in progress. We will be adding more to our books as the Holy Spirit downloads ideas to our hearts and life. And not only will we be adding, but we will be doing. The books are inspiration to actions lead out by His perfect timing and will in our lives. Beautiful!

Picture of my dream pages here soon!

My husband took them out of town with him. Haha!

Color, Birds, Romance

My favorite blogs to write are the inspiring ones where God talks to me through my everyday experiences. God is always teaching and whispering on my heart. This week I feel like God has just been whispering...'Enjoy Me!, Enjoy these moments!, Soak Me up and worship.'

The idea couldn't be more perfect as it is winding down the last few weeks of being just us girlies during the day before our Baby Boy arrives. But there seemed to be an underlying theme of color and birds intertwined with God's romance.

At the start of the week, I was thinking. I wonder if God's favorite colors are Blue and Green. If you look around at His creations: the grass, trees, plants are all green. And blue makes up most of the earth with the waters and the sky! Even little Robin eggs are blue. Then, thinking deeper...every color we see and excites us was created with God's amazing imagination put into existence. Whoa...totally time to get awed away by the Father!

A couple days later, Anna put on my crazy colored footed socks, which looked like tube socks on her little legs. She was a true Rainbow Brite in the making. I couldn't help but enjoy her crazy personality coming out. She has such a creative side, which we all know comes from me! :) But where did I get my creativity...totally from the Father's heart, just as she did. Enjoying my silly little girl as she took joy in socks made me realize how much the Father enjoys me too. I'm totally on His heart. I'm not overlooked by the two cute little stinkers that are pieces of my heart running around on the outside. Since becoming a Mother, I tend to get overshadowed by their sweet bundle of cuteness and even overlook myself as well. It just naturally happens that way, but God hasn't overlooked any piece of me. 

We have played outside a lot this week. It's been gorgeous out in the mornings with a slight breeze. As I sat on our porch swing, with my feet up, watching the girls play with the breeze touching my skin and hair, it somehow felt wrapped up with a breeze of  His presence. It took me back to His romance in my childhood. He was reminiscing with me and lovin' on me all at once. As I breathed in the moments, I wondered how God would romance my girls through their childhood. Would they notice? Would they soak Him in as I did? Would it be similar? Sharing the romance of His presence totally made those moments as we played ball, blocks, or just sitting next to the slide while they took turns handing out high fives after sliding down just that much more sweeter.

If you have ever read the book, "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldridge, in Chapter 7, "Romanced," Stasi talked about how she longed to be romanced by the Father as He did her husband with the whales on one of their trips to the beach. Instead, a couple days later, she got hundreds and hundreds of colorful starfish. A sight and experience designed just for her alone by the Father. He wanted to reveal His heart and love for her. God has romanced me in the past with birds. It wasn't until I was married that my husband unveiled God's full meaning for romancing me with this gesture.

Just as my girls started to discover the birds landing in our yard and trying to run after them this past week, we had a Blue Jay family take nest in our tree. As I spot the blue bird couple out our window almost every where I turn, I couldn't help but think we are having a boy and adding blue to our household just as these gorgeous blue birds have taken nest at our home. God mentions the birds of the air in His Word*.

Every encounter, I learn more of the Father's heart. He made this week much more precious and memorable just by sharing in our every day.

*Matthew 6:26, Matthew 10:29, Job 38:41, Psalm 50:11, Psalm 104:24, Psalm 147:9

Mommy Blues and Fresh Perspectives

Recently, I got to have some much needed girl time with one of my best friends. Our conversations usually center around what God is doing in our lives...and I can tell you that we end up in a time warp. Five hours can go by like it was two before it's so late that my husband usually texts her to tell her to send home his overly tired pregnant wife. Haha!

I shared with her how I have been in a Mommy funk or what I like to call the "Mommy Blues." It's been hard being at home and not being able to participate in all the things I want to do, see all the friends I want to spend time with, and just generally, being kind of lonely in toddler world. I can't remember the last time I had a break and it's been a couple months since I have had a date with my husband.

My mornings have looked a little like this every day this week: In the first 5 minutes the girls are up while I am getting breakfast together, the girls go straight to the bathroom, throw my clothes and suede boots into the bathtub and turn on the water. While digging out the soggy mess, they run to the next room pouring out all the seasonings my husband left out on the table, all over the floor including pouring salt on the raisins they are eating and having a meltdown because I throw them away.

Or changing Anna's diaper only to have Esther slinging baby food all over the carpet and while scrubbing and "Resolving" the mess, I find Anna is pouring laundry detergent in the litter box and then trying to scoop the detergent back out into the detergent bucket. Ahhhhhh......

I have had an unspeakable joy through these Mommy times. I love it so! The normal Mommy days just don't get to me. I can store up gladness like a camel and carry through. But my reserve has started to dry up. I'm thirsty. I'm so thirsty! I'm falling short by The Well. I'm unraveling....

My dear friend had all the fresh perspectives I needed to start changing it all around and to start living in the face of the Lord again. She reminded me that this is a season God has placed me in with purpose. Everything in this season is different and I can't compare it to the last. The people I'm pouring into looks different than I envisioned...I'm discipling two toddlers to grow up to go out and shine in the world. My worship and service has new and different aspects...changing diapers, feeding, comforting, singing songs and playing are all acts of worship unto the Lord. And until the kids get a little bigger and I can start having a little more freedom, God has Grace for me in this season.

She also suggested in my quiet time reading that I stick to the Psalms for a while. The Psalms record David's ups and downs... his joy, his anger, his praise, his sorrow, his crying out unto the Lord, his struggles...it's all there. Each day I have read, it's been like, 'Whoa! This is how I feel today.' It's like an outline to lay my feelings and circumstances at the alter of the Most High daily, moment by moment and not forgetting to worship in the mist of it all. The words meditate on my heart all day long. It's bringing back that joy aspect into my day.

We had some friends pray over my husband and I after our "Baby Sprinkle." My heart broke down as one prayed how I had walked out this past season alone in excellence, but this season isn't going to be repeated with our new baby. I will have more help, more friends stopping by to visit, boldness to ask friends for help, and the fullness of His joy will wash over me again...new, every day! I felt as though a portion of my plate of burdens was lifted right off my shoulders. God hasn't forgotten where He has placed me. He's about to start something new in my daily Mommyhood. Their sweet prayers spoke that I am the Lord's delight!

It wasn't until sharing my burdens in Small Group last night that I felt totally freed. The Lord took the last few scoops off my plate and took them all for Him to bare. Everything is changing and my heart is now light!

Sure, this morning, I indulged in a cup of chocolate pudding with my eggs, toast, and o.j out of pity for myself. Yesterday, I couldn't wait to escape out the door just for an hour dental appt that was 8 months over due. I look on with exasperation as I can no longer keep up with the girls, laundry, and dishes and am unsure if my house will ever be clean again. The nursery still isn't prepared for our new boy. And Kyle and I are holding our breath for my thoughtful Dad to visit next weekend to give us a date night....
One of the toughest weeks that looked like the end of me became a week I am filled again and being restored to my full Motherhood joy. I am exactly where God wants me to be.

Matthew 11: ²⁸Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

What 18 Months Looks Like

We have twins and somehow, I think this makes us a little interesting. Everyone wants to know what's going on in our world. Not to mention, everyone has lots of questions. :) 

The girls just turned 18 months old and my heart grows bigger every day. Twins are a very special gift. A joy only few get to experience. I'm so thankful God blessed us with more than I knew to ask for. 

Anna and Esther love climbing everything, exploring everything, and dancing around the kitchen to music with Momma while spinning around in circles until they fall down.

Reading books have replaced almost all toy play in the house. They sure didn't get that from me! Ha! We read the same handful of favorite books over and over all day long. Some books I want to hide after reading 100x, but my favorite part of reading one of their favorite books is near the end when the Mama kisses the Baby, the girls each give me a kiss too. I melt. :) When Esther reads by herself, she has a distinct reading voice. It seems like she is trying to mimic how I read to them. Her little mumbles pitch up and down really fast. I can't help but think it's the cutest thing ever! 

And although they both look alike, dress alike, share the same schedules, play with the same toys, tend to be extremely shy, and have infectious smiles and laughs, these two girls couldn't be more different in personality. They are not much alike in character at all. It's so fun to watch as they are learning to express themselves more and more. 

Esther Autumn

Weighing in at 23 lbs

and 31 inches tall

with 11 Teeth

This little bundle of mischievousness has become a big Daddy's Girl. It is so adorably cute. She follows her Daddy all around the house, gets excited when he comes home from work, talks about him during the day when he's not home, and tries to wear his shoes whenever they are found laying around. She is in almost every way just like him. I can't seem to find any qualities of myself in her at all. She is all Daddy! She is serious and reflective, a tease, a daredevil, more independent and quiet, and is always soaking in her surroundings and trying to figure out how everything works or goes together more than the average toddler. We think she has Kyle's genius engineer brain. :)  Her qualities tend to get herself in more trouble than Anna since she is always exploring and observing everything around her. 

Favorites:

Food: Tomatoes

Toy: Corn Popper and Little People Disney Princess Castle

Song: Ring-Around-the-Rosie

Book: "Little Loon & Papa" by Toni Buzzeo

Cat: Flopsey 

Favorite Esther Stories:

I gave my husband a new watch for our anniversary that he started wearing every day. Obviously, Esther has taken notice in a very short time. One day my husband forgot to put it on, when he got home from work, Esther excitedly greeted him, then ran straight to our bedroom to grab the watch off the nightstand, bringing it promptly to put in his hands. We were astonished!

The girls have a pink toy 4-wheeler that they got for their 1st birthday. Anna has taken ownership of it completely. She rides around on it all throughout the day. She never gives Esther a chance to ride it. If Esther tries, Anna will quickly come and push her off and take over. Esther has discovered this to be to her advantage. If Anna has something that Esther wants but Anna won't share, Esther will run over to get on the 4-wheeler. The result: Anna will drop what she has, run over, and get on the wheeler...leaving Esther with the prize. Haha! :)

Anna Elizabeth

Weighing in at 23 lbs

at 31 inches tall

with 10 Teeth

Anna has become quite the little ham and coming into her own. She's starting to express her goofy little personality more and more. She is starting to put tiny baby size sentences together. "Where you?," "What do you?," and "Out my way" are some of her newest additions. "Oh uh" still being my favorite. :) She makes cute little faces as she jibber-jabbers all through the day especially as she tries to communicate with us.

Unlike Esther, she is more like her Mommy. :) She already loves to draw and color! She loves our afternoon sensory/creative play activities the most (i.e. flour or rice play, water play, painting, pebbles w/cups bin). She will stay completely focused for at least an hour, which is abnormal for this huff-n-puff all go girl. She is all play and all talk all day long. Some of my family will appreciate this one: she is starting to develop a slight "bag lady" tendency I had around age 2. We will have to watch to see if it progresses. ;)

Favorites:

Food: Chicken Nuggets

Toy: Shopping Cart and Pink 4-Wheeler

Song: Itsy Bitsy Spider

Book: "Llama Llama Red Pajama" by Anna Dewdney
and "My Farm Friends" by Wendell Minor 

Cat: Bebes

Recent Favorite Anna Stories:
When Anna is in full form of hamming it up in front of everyone, she has developed a "duck walk" where she bends her knees as she walks, sometimes bobbing her head a bit. It's my favorite!

My Dad and his wife both work for Frito-Lay and Lance, so we always get a huge box full of chips and goodies whenever we have a visit with them. Just last week, we had a new assortment, which "Nina" had included animal cookies. Anna dumped out the entire box onto the floor, recognizing and picking out the cookies, and brought them to me, begging for me to open it to eat some. Haha! Smarty pants!

Love Muffin Date

Today, Mommy and Daddy had a lunch and zoo date with our two love muffins. 

 Our Zoo Membership is ending this month and with this beautiful day, we thought we should take advantage of it since new baby brother is coming soon. One of those bittersweet days of just the four of us.

Anna and Esther are such well behaved little ladies at the lunch table. I wouldn't expect this from my little 17 month olds, but their sweet little manners make my heart melt for it. 

Everyone was taking a bite at the same time. Thought it was rather priceless. As you can see Mommy/Baby Boy's plate had more food on it than anyone else's. Ha!

Then it was off to the Zoo!!!

After visiting the lions and tigers, we decided to head over to the Farm Petting Zoo. Esther quickly discovered the ducks!

And then there were two. Haha! I think they both agreed that the swimming ducks were their favorite animals of the zoo. We had to pry them away after a bit of watching.

We even had an awesome Seal encounter while giving pregnant Mommy a sit down break and having a snack. Anna made sure not to miss out on the action.

Esther got a close up too! She was a little hesitant and kept a little more distance between her and the seal.

We had to check out the pretty water fountain before leaving especially since photo Mommy wanted a couple more pics. No toddler cooperation for one though. No loss of expectation there. Ha!
 Esther wanted to play a little too close to the edge. I thought sure we were going to take home a soaked baby. Thankfully, it's only a foot of water and Daddy stayed close to catch her little fearless self.

Sweet day! Sweet memories!

Myrrh Poured Heart

The other day, I had a friend who posted the ever familiar Donna Lewis lyrics: "I love you, always forever. Near or far, Closer together."

It was truly God inspired as I was driving in the car yesterday, the tune popped into my head and I started singing along the famous words. "....Everywhere I will be with you. Everything I do will be for you." It was though God was saying, 'exactly my thoughts.'

You see, I have been struggling with sin separating issues of the heart. These roots can be deeply traced back into childhood. It's damages have resulted in bitterness and resentment causing rock hard layers to surround and squeeze out the God fruit.

My legalistic mindset tells me that God is angry and disappointed with me, that I'm not measuring up, and that God is sitting on the sidelines waiting for me to find freedom and release from these heart infestations all on my own before He will come back on the scene and enter back in. The legalism tells me I'm separated in all ways.

Reflecting on Song of Solomon 5, in the Art of Conflict, I remembered how deeply love moved my heart was in discovering how Solomon responded to his wife's closed heart.

² I slept, but my heart was awake,
    when I heard my lover knocking and calling:
“Open to me, my treasure, my darling,
    my dove, my perfect one.
My head is drenched with dew,
    my hair with the dampness of the night.”

³ But I responded,
“I have taken off my robe.
    Should I get dressed again?
I have washed my feet.
    Should I get them soiled?”

⁴ My lover tried to unlatch the door,
    and my heart thrilled within me.
⁵ I jumped up to open the door for my love,
    and my hands dripped with perfume.
My fingers dripped with lovely myrrh
    as I pulled back the bolt.

Solomon called out to her. God is calling out to me. Solomon wanted her to open her door and heart to him. God is sweetly doing the same to me. When she [I] responded, in dishonor. He responded by pouring "lovely" myrrh on her door. He was leaving "his calling card of love." He didn't respond in anger and disappointment.  

Truth is, it's only with God and His Supernatural love and forgiveness that I can receive heart surgery and move forward. He's right here even though I'm being separated by my flesh and doing the things that I do not want to do (Romans 8). God is pouring myrrh [love] and grace on my closed door of a heart and chiseling away at the brick layer over it to find that soft spot inside to bring freedom, healing, and a deeper connection with Him.

God is omniscient and can see me in the whole picture. He's not frustrated by my current struggles. He sees all of me, all the beauty, all we can overcome together, and He longs to be with me again in my Christ covered self. He sees what I look like when I come out on the other side. And I will be better than before. There are deeper layers of His heart to discover in this too.

Even after rejecting Solomon, he still tried to unlatch the door. Soon, his wife's heart became "thrilled within her" and she jumped up to open the door. Soon, I too will jump up to open the door and my hands and heart with be drenched with the myrrh of His gracious love.

I love you. Always. Forever. 
Near or Far, Push'em together!

Love is the Greatest

Happy Heart's Day, Everyone!

My hubs and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day, although, he didn't hold back on bringing home a long love letter and my favorite bouquet of tulips the day before. Haha! I might be a little spoiled. But regardless, I can't help but to have learned to love the holiday. Maybe because now I'm an overly romanced wife or I'm a little partial to all the PINK and Hearts with my little toddler baby girls! :) 

Oh, did I mention that I love the little message heart candies too! 

I couldn't help to be inspired by the LOVE Day itself.

I think kids have an awesome idea of heart sharing on this holiday. It's not about just one person. They get excited about writing out their cards and/or goodies to all of their friends and can't wait to share them with everyone. They aren't thinking what they get in return, but are spoiled silly when they do.

I was also reminded that love is all about others and not just me me.

1 Corinthians 13 "If could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. ³ If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing."

Then, if you read on to verse 4, it defines what love really is:

^4" Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Some of those standards are pretty hefty when it comes down to it especially when it comes to loving others, but that's why we have to go to the One who created love in the first place. Without Him, we don't really know true love or can we give it away either. Because GOD IS LOVE. 

With God, we can unselfishly [childlike] love those people around us whether in candy heart form or in our actions. It's imperative in showing the greatest Valentine heart of all....God's! Love is WHO HE IS!