Good Gifts and Goodness

Today, the girls and I made a store run to Target. I love Target and now that I have baby girls, I can't help but get even more trapped in the store by looking in the toddler section at all the cutest outfits I wish I could style my girls up in. Ha! Not only were we going to just get some essentials, but we were going to make a trip down the toy aisle to get the girls a treat. Sure, my girls are only 16 months old and have no idea how to appreciate the toy aisle yet or would even know to be disappointed if we bought something or not, but I had a little bit of Christmas money my grandmother sent for them that was burning a hole in my pocket.

I was super excited as we strolled and hands started reaching out of the stroller trying to grab flashy singing toys as I looked around. And there it was....a play tunnel! As we got in the car to drive home, I was filled with anticipation with the surprise of what would behold them in the box! I get carried away like this every time I am able to get the girls a goody even if it's small one.

As I was basking in my eagerness, the parent comparison quickly came to mind. I'm Mommy to Anna and Esther as God is Daddy to me... and if I'm this excited about giving gifts to my kids, then how much more does the Father get excited to bless me; the verse below.

^{Matthew 7:11} If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

God gets excited about me [about you!] and gets even more exhilarated about blessing me [you] than I can comprehend even in giving with my own kids. God wants to shower us with His goodness and with who he is! 

Sometimes, I don't think we recognize this part of God's heart, but I want to be made more aware. I want to take in His showering love for me and give it back to Him. 

^{James 1:17} Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Alabaster Box

I remember in children's Sunday School, growing up in the Nazarene Church, a certain time every year when they passed out little red cardboard boxes with printed hearts to take home and fill up with coin change. After a few weeks, we were to bring it back and pour our box of change into an "Alabaster" offering. I always felt so proud each time I found or received a coin to insert in my box to save toward the offering though it was never much.

Looking up Luke 7:36-50. Jesus is anointed by Mary, a sinful woman. She came before him with her alabaster jar, wet his feet with her tears, wiped them away with her hair, and poured the perfume from her jar on his feet. While others mocked her, we see Jesus commemorate her actions in Matthew 26: 10-13.

^{Matthew 26:10} Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. ¹¹ The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. ¹² When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial.¹³ Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

Reflecting today as an adult and with different perspectives, I am asking heavier questions, What's in your Alabaster Box? What are you offering or pouring out unto the Lord? Is it more than just your coin change or leftovers or is it everything you have to lay before the Lord?

Am I laying down my hopes and dreams? My burdens? My praise and worship? My whole heart?

The Egyptian reference to Alabaster is a "vase of perfumes." When I am around others, am I displaying the aroma of Christ? Are others invited in by the allure of my Master? What within myself am I displaying and pouring out to others from within my box?

I want to begin to think of what my alabaster box looks like every day; the things I insert in and what it is that I pour out and offer to the Lord.

And if you are a Mom like me, you don't always have to be outside the walls of your home to pour out your offering or heart unto the Lord or to others. In my daily home life, how am I displaying Christ's fragrance to my husband and to my children? Honor, patience, peace, laughter (yes, laughter. Joy!!) or are you as proverbs describes a wife as "a dripping faucet?"

We can change the atmosphere around us with the anointed fragrance of our alabaster jars.

Redeeming Love

I love being a Mother! I love and breathe in every moment of it that I can possibly take in. My girls are 15 months old now and I still find myself eating them up as if they were still newborns. This special time goes so fast that my heart doesn't have a chance to keep up with it's pace. I already find myself getting emotional in the most precious moments because I know it won't be this way for very long.

Another unexpected aspect [joy] of motherhood I found was that my experiences seem to erase and wipe away past heartaches and hurtful memories specifically from childhood. It's also like I get a second chance to re-live childhood all together and rewrite it with new memories. Childhood is something I always remembered fondly and wanted to experience again! It's true that your children really are an extension of your heart.

The more I thought about this redeeming love the Lord has bestowed on me with my baby girls and healing my heart (all Him, not my babies), the more I thought that this is how Christ intended for us to feel when He gave us new life. We are "born again." He gives us a 'do over.' He forgets our past [wipes it clean, makes US clean], restores us to heavenly places, and on top of it, is so generous to let us share in His inheritance too.

I can say, even before being a Mother, experiencing His grace over my life and saving me from myself is more I can put into words as it is. He grabbed hold of me, poured astonishing love upon me, and put me back in a place of righteousness. I still pinch myself and thank God daily for this amazing place He has put me back into and blessed my new life. He didn't have to! That's the part that blows me away most with an abundant heart.

^{Ephesians 1:7} In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.

My Two Loaves and Maybe a Fish

In previous months, there has been an acceleration in hunger and in growing with the Lord. I couldn't get enough of reading His word. I was craving His time, voice, and secrets only He could reveal. I was running, running, running, then pow...I have come to a swift halt at the edge of a cliff. I have been stunned with fear to move forward. Specifically, there's a responsibility the Lord has gifted and entrusted me with and I can't seem to take the leap and jump on over to the other side and get moving again. 

I shared my struggles with my husband, who had some insight on the situation. Kyle revealed that I am stunned with fear because I'm trying to jump the cliff on my own strength instead of the Lord taking the few pieces I have to offer up and let Him expand it and grow me up in it to make that leap into a large step. Kyle used the passage of Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand to help me understand.

Matthew 14:13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. 15 Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” 16 But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” 17 They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” 18 And he said, “Bring them here to me.” 19 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20 And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. 21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.

Often times, we let our selfishness, control, and problems overwhelm us and sometimes look like impossible hurdles. This passage exemplifies that God doesn't ask us to solve our own problems. He is asking us to give whatever small portion of ourselves we have to offer up. He will then take it and bless it, and when He gives it back to us it will be enough. Jesus will multiply our efforts until completion.

It's the small things that make the biggest different. Soon, we can let the small portions we give be taken so that the Lord can feed five thousand through us! ;)

Samuel in the Sleepless

There was a very valuable lesson I learned when I was being discipled by a friend a few years ago that I often like to encourage others with. Many nights before bed, I ask the Lord to speak and to minister to me while I am sleeping. The nights that I do, I can tell you that I am never disappointed. We spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping, so why wouldn't the Lord take advantage of that time especially when our heart is at rest?

But what about those sleepless nights? 

Monday night, I had the opportunity to spend some time catching up with a few of my beloved sisters in Christ. My friend, Kim, was sharing that recently she was having trouble sleeping. She was waking up in the night and couldn't go back to sleep for long periods of time. Kim, being a full time wife and mother like me, understands that sleep is golden. She shared a common frustration of asking the Lord, 'Why can't I sleep? You know I need the rest.' 

The story of Samuel quickly came to mind and I shared that maybe the Lord was awaking her so that He could speak.

1Samuel 3: Meanwhile, the boy Samuel served the Lord by assisting Eli. Now in those days messages from the Lord were very rare, and visions were quite uncommon.

² One night Eli, who was almost blind by now, had gone to bed. ³ The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was sleeping in the Tabernacle near the Ark of God. ⁴ Suddenly the Lord called out, “Samuel!”
“Yes?” Samuel replied. “What is it?” ⁵ He got up and ran to Eli. “Here I am. Did you call me?”
“I didn’t call you,” Eli replied. “Go back to bed.” So he did.
⁶ Then the Lord called out again, “Samuel!”
Again Samuel got up and went to Eli. “Here I am. Did you call me?”
“I didn’t call you, my son,” Eli said. “Go back to bed.”
⁷ Samuel did not yet know the Lord because he had never had a message from the Lordbefore. ⁸ So the Lord called a third time, and once more Samuel got up and went to Eli. “Here I am. Did you call me?”
Then Eli realized it was the Lord who was calling the boy. ⁹ So he said to Samuel, “Go and lie down again, and if someone calls again, say, ‘Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went back to bed.
¹⁰ And the Lord came and called as before, “Samuel! Samuel!”
And Samuel replied, “Speak, your servant is listening.”

Recently, I have had the same problem for weeks now. It happens almost every night where I awaken sometime between the hours of 1:30-3:30am and I can not go back to sleep. I have completely chalked it up to my erratic hormones of being newly pregnant, but this morning the thought hit me...

I'm not exempted from the Samuel story, hormones and all. God doesn't waste our time. He knows I need the rest. He controls my [crazy] hormones. Maybe He is trying to speak to me also!

Talk about a 'Duh!' moment! 

So the next night I spend frustratingly fighting with my pillows and trying to find that invisible comfy spot in the bed, I'm going to open up my heart, "Speak, your servant is listening," and connect with the heart of my Creator! 

Maybe sweet sleep and rest will quickly find me after! ;) 

This Year, October Brings.....

October is a significant month for me and my husband. God seems to bless our lives with new adventures that are forever life changing this time every year, which seems fitting since October is already representative for change. 

October calls forth a changing of seasons. It brings with it the crisp cool air of fall with changing colored leaves that express God's glorious creativity. October also has it's festive fun that can't be found in any other season. I'm talking about pumpkin carving, hay rides, corn mazes, orchards and apple cider, trick or treating, etc. Yes to all, please! 

We also seem to have a theme of October associations in our family. Pumpkin Pie is a favorite here in the Adam's household. Kyle and I eat it no matter what time of year it is. We love it. We make a date night out of it. A good classic movie and pumpkin pie making! Kyle has also given me the pet name, "Nangua," which means 'little pumpkin' in Chinese. It started out as a fortune cookie joke that stayed. We also call our twin baby girls, 'punkins.' We have an obvious love of pumpkins around here. 

So what has been so life changing for us in this fabulous month of October? 

It all starts on October 24, 2009. Kyle and I met for the very first time at a Haunted House at a group gathering from church. He gave me his sweatshirt since it was freezing outside and I was unprepared for any other activities other than dinner where Kyle had previously laid eyes on me and knew I would forever change him. ::ahhhh, sweet romance:: We got carried away in a discussion about a zombie who was in a group entertaining the lines of people with Michael Jackson's "Thriller" dance. We went on to have our first date together on Halloween. 

Kyle took me out on a real blind date on October 29, 2010. I mean, I was actually blindfolded as he took me to a special location set up for a proposal. And, of course, I said, "Yes!" 

Before our twins were delivered a few weeks early, our original due date was October 13, 2011. Unfortunately, Esther had to stay in the NICU for some time, but we were finally able to bring her home on October 5, 2011. Mommy was finally at peace and in love with both of her babies home. 

Kyle would also go on to take his Professional Engineering exam just a couple weeks later after about 100 hours of studying and 4 years of engineering in training requirements. He passed and obtained his license! We are so proud of our Kyle! It was definitely a career changer and would later come to be in our favor for Kyle's new job. 

So, what does this year, 2012, bring in the month of October, might you ask? 

Well.....

 New Baby Makes 5! 

After this year's October blessing, we can't wait to see what God has in store for us in the October to come! Lots of new chapters and new adventures to come for our still very new family! 

The Moon? Throw a Lasso Around It!

If you were one that attended our wedding, you heard my sister give a very memorable but sentimental toast at the reception. Her toast described how I have always loved Disney. When I was a child, it started with all the fairy tales: Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Cinderella, etc., but then as I grew up, so did Disney. I moved on to guilty pleasures like the High School Musicals, Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, etc . The point was I always had a dream of a fairy tale romance. It almost seemed like an impossible dream or that my expectations were to the sky. In short, her toast was describing that I had finally found my fairy tale romance that I had always dreamed of. Kyle romances me to the moon and back and I love it! It makes our relationship exciting and spicy.

This dream of a fairy tale romance was not given completely by those Disney tales, although they do fill a girls head with all the right ideas! Ha! But it was inspired by God who created me with the dream and desire to be swept off my feet not only in a dating relationship but in my marriage too. He knew the plans He had made for my life and only drove me to crave it until I found it- Kyle. It wasn't easy believing that dream could come true and there was a time I forfeited it altogether, but God restored me to that privileged dream.

This week God began awakening me to start dreaming big dreams with Him. I don't know yet what these dreams may be or what they may even look like, but they have me eagerly seeking out the Father's heart. They are dreams that seem bigger than I am. Ones that leave me feeling intimidated, apprehensive, but yet intrigued and anticipated all in the same breath. I feel like they will push me out of my comfort zones, but only to find even bigger joy and double portions when I get there. It is hard to reach down inside yourself to find what you or I are really capable of doing/being....to push myself straight into God's big plans!  

I feel like Genesis 15:5 when ^"the Lord took Abram outside and said to him, “Look up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That’s how many descendants you will have!” 

I'm not speaking of descendants here. Haha! God is figuratively speaking like George Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life." "What is it you want, Mary Ashley? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary Ashley."

God's taking me under the clouds of the day, under the starry night sky, and wanting me to dream dreams with Him. That is just indescribably exciting!!! I am aligning myself with Him, His Will, and His big Dreams. I get to be part of God's plan! And then see them fulfilled!

It is only when we align our dreams with God that those dreams can really come true! Not by our own works, striving, strengths, or selfish aspirations. It's when we submit entirely to God and His prosperous plans for our lives. Dreaming Big Dreams with His Heart!

In order for those dreams to be fulfilled, He is calling me to have faith, childlike faith, to believe in Him so that we can take hold of those dreams that are in store. To have faith that only He, the Almighty, can do. The anything, everything, and the impossible.

Now that might seem easy, but I look at Abraham who was 100 years old, and think....I would have to dig deep to find that faith in believing God would give me a son at that age. But Genesis 15:6 says, "And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith."

Are you inspired to dream dreams with the Most High? He wants to dream enormous dreams with you! The easy ones... that husband you're waiting for, that job you're anticipating, a captivating romance, a restored marriage, missions, or the impossible ones that our hearts have yet to dream with Him or ones in the process of being fulfilled by Him. 

I look at where I am now compared to just years ago. I have undeserving favor and living dreams I never knew could really be obtained, better ones than I could have ever imagined, and God's calling for more... more dreams, more joy, more of His heart and less of mine! There's always more dreams to be dreamed. We don't just have so settle with current aspired dreams. I don't want to become complacent in the dreams God has already and is fulfilling in my life. There's so much more to God and His heart to be shared with us!!