My Two Loaves and Maybe a Fish

In previous months, there has been an acceleration in hunger and in growing with the Lord. I couldn't get enough of reading His word. I was craving His time, voice, and secrets only He could reveal. I was running, running, running, then pow...I have come to a swift halt at the edge of a cliff. I have been stunned with fear to move forward. Specifically, there's a responsibility the Lord has gifted and entrusted me with and I can't seem to take the leap and jump on over to the other side and get moving again. 

I shared my struggles with my husband, who had some insight on the situation. Kyle revealed that I am stunned with fear because I'm trying to jump the cliff on my own strength instead of the Lord taking the few pieces I have to offer up and let Him expand it and grow me up in it to make that leap into a large step. Kyle used the passage of Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand to help me understand.

Matthew 14:13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. 15 Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” 16 But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” 17 They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” 18 And he said, “Bring them here to me.” 19 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. 20 And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. 21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.

Often times, we let our selfishness, control, and problems overwhelm us and sometimes look like impossible hurdles. This passage exemplifies that God doesn't ask us to solve our own problems. He is asking us to give whatever small portion of ourselves we have to offer up. He will then take it and bless it, and when He gives it back to us it will be enough. Jesus will multiply our efforts until completion.

It's the small things that make the biggest different. Soon, we can let the small portions we give be taken so that the Lord can feed five thousand through us! ;)